Anyway, to cut a long story short, I decided to kill myself.
That's the trouble with suicides, I've
learned, you can't cut the long story short.
Because it's the long story that people are interested in
Especially if you're me.
Which regrettably I was and still am to this day.
So, forgive me if you already knew this
but I'm Martin Sharp, the man who had everything:
1 wife, 2 children, 3 dogs
At least 4 People's Choice Awards, And 5 mornings a week
on the most successful breakfast show in Britain.
They were even offering me Mondays off.
So far, so good.
I have reached middle age [... ]
With money in the bank.
Until I met Susie Jenkins
At a launch for a new men's moisturizer.
All I can say, in my defense, your Honor,
Is that she looked 25 to me, but she wasn't.
Que. In chronological order; Tabloid frenzy,
a short prison sentence, divorce, disgrace, demolition.
New Year's Eve is supposed to be a pause
for breath, a punctuation mark.
Well, I had come to a full stop. Really.
Why wouldn't I want
to throw myself off the top of a tall building?
Excuse me?
Hi… um…
I'm not entirely sure how to phrase this, but um.. Are you going to be long?
What?
I wasn't sure whether to wait my turn, or...
But I haven't considered the wire. I'd really like to borrow your ladder?
Maybe I should just wait... I'll wait.
- You're just gonna stand there and watch? - No, no, of course. You'll, you'll be
You'll be wanting to do it on your own, I imagine.
– You imagine right.
- I'll go there... - Right.
I'll give you a shout on the way down.
Alright.
Oh!
I can't... Maybe you should go first?
I would want to be on my own... completely.
Understood... Twenty minutes... Then I want my spot back.
- Right. - Ok.
- 0h! - Oh!
Maureen.
Martin.
Are you from... Uh, I recognize your face.
Oh, do you? – Are you married to someone in a pop group?
No.
- Are you on TV? - Maureen...
perhaps this is not the best time to talk about this.
- Out of my way, you bastards! - No, stop, stop, calm!
- Who the fuck are you? - Maureen, help.
- What do you want me to do? - Hold her legs.
You're getting a[... ], you pervert!
- Oh, my God! - What?
Are you Martin Sharp! You are a pervert, officially!
Oh! That's it! "Rise and shine with Martin and Penny!"
Just let me!
A CELL PHONE RINGS - What? What?
Hi.
Um... any of you guys ordered a pizza ...?
Um, we should do introductions.
I'm Jess.
Everyone calls me Jess.
I'm Maureen.
- I'm JJ. - I'm - Martin Sharp. - Yes.
It's very exciting to have a celebrity in our suicidal midst.
This is wrong. Alright, well we could just
one, two, three, jump!
< wailing car
I wouldn't have minded
if it had been the proverbial cry of a help,
but, believe me, you don't got a ladder up 15 flights of stairs on the freezing cold
New Year's Eve, unless you're serious.
Nice to meet you.
It was just another debacle, another cockup.
I'd have believed you if you told me half an hour before that I'd end up on my car...
but not in it!
And I absolutely knew, with every fiber of my being,
That I wouldn't be seeing any of those freaks and misfits again.
I didn't know what they were doing up there.
And I didn't wanna find out, thank you very much.
I have no interest, whatsoever
Oh, fuck!
Do I regret stopping to pick her up?
Well, That really is a long story.
Want a lift?
No, no. The bus won't be long... In 15 minutes.
Get in the car, Maureen.
I did like your television show.
What are you doing?
Ah, it's a bit 'early for a reunion, isn't it?
Get in the car, we're taking you home.
So this is... jolly.
OK. one word answers.
Everyone has one word to explain why they were up in the roof in the first place.
For example, Martin might say... "notoriety".
Maureen might say "loneliness". I'm not lonely.
- Tell that to your cats. - I don't have cats.
I was up there because I felt... helpless.
Helpless! That's a very good adjective!
Are we not filling in to your pre-ordained boxers, Jess?
Actually, you fill your one marvelously, Martin.
Was prison fun?
You really believe you have an answer for everything, don't you?
I really believe that you are a miserable bastard, yes.
Actually right now, a “miserable bastard”
Is exactly what I am, have I not been hiding it well?
- Pizza boy? - JJ.
Why might pizza boy want to die?
What would be your reason Jess?
My reason would be love.
Chas, Chas the dickhead, he spurned me.
I am a spurned woman.
Cancer.
I was up there because I have cancer.
I have an inoperable cancer. We have a winner!
It's fucking brilliant, very impressed, is it um...
an embarrassing cancer?
Brain... CCR.
I'm sorry, JJ.
Yeah... Colon would have been better.
Oh... we're here
Here? You live here?
No, but Chas is likely to be here.
And I've got a couple of things I wanna say to him.
Good luck with your next attempt. See you in the afterlife.
Yes, goodnight.
Unhappy little thing, isn't she?
I should have known... The most popular place in London
for suicides, and the most popular night for suicides.
I should've known, I wouldn't be alone.
I don't know why she thought I have cats.
And she certainly swears too much but...
Go on Maureen, just say.
I just um... should she be alone?
MUSIC
Martin, you uh... you go that way,
- I'm going there. - No, no, I can't do this.
What else are we gonna do? Hey, what else are we gonna do?
And Maureen um, you check... you check the bathrooms.
Look the bathrooms, bathrooms. Kay, go.
I am looking for a girl named Jess. Jess!
I am looking for a girl called Jess. Jess?
Hi! I'm looking for...
Hi!
- I am looking for... - Hi!
I am looking for a girl... Jess.
Good... Great... Perfect.
(All) Sixteen, fifteen, fourteen,
thirteen, twelve, eleven o'clock, ten o'clock,
nine, eight, seven, six, five,
four, three, two, one... Happy New Year!
Hi!
Hmm!
- You're hiding too, are you? - Yeah.
I... I've taken some pills.
It's all good. What are you hiding from?
Oh you know, humans, humanity, life. You?
A nutter who's trying to kill me.
Your reason's better than mine then. And where is this nutter?
- She's everywhere... - Ah, God-like, is she?
I was just hoping I was in a bad pill.
Um... cause she's not supposed to be here, but I'm pretty sure I've just seen her.
Um, I'm pretty sure I've seen you on breakfast TV
So um, maybe I'm much having a good pill...
You are Chas, aren't you? – How'd you know that?
I'm here with the... nutter.
Chas Chas Chas! Still, still, listen, listen.
Let's just...
Go find her together, huh? I mean, What's the worst that could happen?
She tried to kill me twice, got me arrested once.
I'm banned from 3 pubs, 2 clubs and a cinema...
OK. – Just let me leave quietly.
- Okay. Okay... - I have done nothing wrong.
Nothing wrong? Taking her to bed!
Nothing wrong. Where is she? Where is Jess?
We need to find her. You need to talk to her.
She won't talk. She just chases me with bread knife.
Oh and tonight she was prepared to end her life because of what you did to her.
- Maureen, don't. - Just?
Yah, that's where we met her, the top of the tower block
- Preparing to... - What?
Hey, hey, it's jess. Come on.
How's she doing? Hey
Do you know what did she take?
I do not know. Drugs, alcohol, you know the usual.
- Are you the father? - No, I... No!
I need to know her name. – Uh, we just call her jess.
Sir, I need her full name. – None of us knew her before tonight.
You need to wait here.
She's got no identification on her no, nothing.
Yeah, well she probably didn't wanna make identification easy.
She likes things, you know... difficult.
Uhm... Hospital, not a fan. Good drugs, though.
Late for something?
No I just, have to make sure I'm home to make Matty some breakfast.
- Matty? - My son.
- You have a son? - Yes.
His breakfast is... Quite complicated.
I don't... Um look, if I'm not going to die tonight,
It's important that he doesn't know anything that happened..
Here she comes.
Oh boy!
Okay ... So I got a few things to clarify...
Number one, my gown's open-backed,
because they have stolen my clothes.
So I'm gonna do a twirl for you right now, and you can have a look at my ass.
Just once, it's not my best feature
But something that you'll probably find out the more we get to know one another.
Number two...
It really, it wasn't an overdose. It was just an accident.
Honestly, I checked all these pills
and then... I took some more, but it was just for fun.
I'd never kill myself by takings pills.
I'd probably do something really cool like,
jumping off the top of the tower block.
Jess, we were worried.
I was, was I at number three, or... I think I was at number four.
I just wanted to say, thank you so much for caring.
Because I really um, I really really appreciate it.
He was worried, I was tryin' to work out what we are still doing here.
So, now number five. I think I was number five... or six... Fuck!
Is it just me?
Because it's really fucking cold out here, guys.
It's really cold.
Come here.
Come on in.
Yes ..
Thanks.
Pss! Hey!
When is the next day after New Year's Eve,
- When everybody kills themselves? - Why?
Valentines day.
That's 6 weeks away.
Ok, here's the deal. Nobody kills themselves until then.
Why? I mean, why would we wanna do that?
Why wouldn't we not want to kill ourselves
if and when and how we want huh?
Cause, what is the alternative? It's some sort of race to the finish,
It's me, checking the obituaries every week
to see if Martin Sharp is dead.
No offense, guys, but...
I don't think your deaths would really make the papers.
Come on, six weeks.
It's not such a ridiculous idea.
Yes, Maureen, has anybody got a pen? Can I have some paper as well.
Paper.
Great, thanks.
The undersigned,
Do you hereby promise... not to kill themselves...
Before Valentines day, Maureen, sign just wherever you like.
Pizza boy?
- But... - You're dying anyway. Hm?
Martin Sharp.
Life saver... Superman...
Six weeks, Martin.
We'll push you off the top ourselves,
if it makes any difference.
It'll be a little Valentines treat.
Pretty sure we're all gonna live to regret this.
Guys... look.
So this is the new year then...
Yeah...
Hang on, Maureen, just a fucking question here,
Have we just written our pact at the back of your suicide note?
Oh yes, there is that.
LAUGHING
My mom always like to repeat this story of me as a kid
Being asked what I wanted to be when I grow up.
I always used to say: Invisible. I don't know quite what prompted it,
but the thought of it stuck with me.
It was only later that I found out
that invisibility is in fact the technical possibility.
It was in this book that my sister stole from the library
and I stole from my sister.
I followed her into crime,
though she was better than me.
She always sort of glowed innocence,
Whereas I, to this day, just sort of radiate guilt.
Anyway, to be invisible is easy.
You just have to find a way to diffract light.
Screech
Woaw. Are you trying to get yourself killed?
I haven't managed it yet, but I'm working on it.
I didn't just follow him, I followed all of them.
And it wasn't stalking.
You stalk a deer in order to kill it, mount it, stick it on your wall
And tell the story of how fucking brilliant you are with a shotgun
I didn't wanna kill any of them.
I certainly didn't have any interest in mounting them.
And I don't own a shotgun... though I'd like one.
I just wanted to check him, invisibly,
To check if they're sticking to the pact.
That's not stalking, it's barely not even an espionage.
Ok... Now I know why you're ringing.
Pink flamingos flying north on Tuesday.
Hello, Jess.
This is top spy location, Dad. This is hugely inconspicuous.
Look... Um...
This is a situation, I've invited a...
A situation? That's what you're referring to it as?
- How else would you refer to it? - I don't know, Dad.
- You did what you did... - Yes, I tried to kill myself.
Jess, please don't put words in my mouth. This is hard enough.
- Is it dad? - Yes.
Why are we doing this here? Why can't we just do this at home?
Because the press will be there and I'm trying to protect you.
Yah well, you've always been really great at that, haven't you?
Jess... – What the hell are you doing here?
Um... I was invited. – You invited?
Politician's daughter. What a surprise!
I called his agent. I thought we should talk.
You called his agent. He was delighted, first call he had in a while..
Was it you? You went to the press.
No! I've been trying to figure it out myself, but...
JJ?
He's too shy. Maureen?
No, no...
Hey, it was fucking Chas! Chas sold us!
My ex-wife rang this morning, wanted to know what I'd done.
Asking me what she should tell the children.
Oh, I'm gonna fucking kill him.
She told me, I seem to be the only person in
the whole world that the press gets bang on.
If they say I've slept with a 15 yr old, I generally have.
If they say I've come pled suicide, I generally have.
Yes, I read about you with the... girl.
You haven't... you two haven't?
You're asking whether we've slept together?
- You think that I've... - Martin! At least I'm legal.
Yes, I value our friendship too much to complicate it.
Do you plan to maintain your relationship with Jess?
Yeah, of course he will. We're in a gang.
- We're not in a gang. - You signed a pact!
Oh, yes, of course the pact, how could I forget?
Yes, Jess and I are friends for life now!
Now look, Martin, I'm sure I didn't have to tell someone
With your media training...
that what we have here, is a media firestorm.
Yes, gentlemen, this is a media firestorm.
- I'll leave you to it. - Jess!
Why don't you invite him to our family therapy?
You could do that
Why don't you pay him to be you, Dad?
Martin doesn't want my money.
You don't do you?
Has anyone ever told you you're a bit of an idiot?
I'm a politician. That's all they ever tell me.
- Alright. - Yep.
- Good luck. - Yes.
Miss Crichton, a statement?
Why did you choose New Year's Eve?
Please, just one question.
This is the second tragedy for the Crichton family
after the disappearance older sister Jennifer, 2 years ago.
Jennifer was never found and you have to wonder
How Shadow Education Secretary Chris Crichton,
Will cope with this new strain upon him
- He already knew... - Come on, come on guys.
JESS CANTA "TRAGEDY"
< Jess?
< Can I come in?
< Can I come in, Jess?
Where did she go now?
Jess?
MUSIC
- Hello. - Come... enter.
Wow!
Jess, this is Matty... my son.
I mean... Wow...
You just... you completely wowed me! Jess...
What's it mean? "Wow"?
Like wow, this is what you've been hiding in here.
Jess, enough!
Sorry...
I wasn't leaving him, that night, there was...
Maureen, no one is accusing you of anything.
Social services would've been forced to pay for proper care.
I mean the standard of care they could provide... It's better.
And I don't hide him. I've never hidden him, never.
Can we get back to the matter in hand?
Yeah, we uh... we forgot how to get him to leave us all alone.
Okay, I had um, three of them call my cell today.
How did they even get my number?
Yeah, how did Chas even remember you?
This Chas? behind this?
Yeah, I mean you're quite cute, but you're infinitely forgettable.
They won't... leave us alone.
They'll find out where you live, where Maureen lives...
well they'll be here? – I've been thinking...
What if, we shift the goal post? – Goal post?
Yeah, make it our story, not theirs.
I mean there's even a possibility that we might
be able to make some uh, money out of it.
Money? - Yeah, money, that would be good for Matty wouldn't it?
I'm sure JJ would like a break from pizzas.
And as uh, unemployed, disgraced talk show host, I could certainly do with it.
I don't want Matty in the papers.
We can't stop that.
But at least this way... we won't lose out entirely.
- By telling our story... - What story?
We went up and came back down again.
They sold newspapers off our backs.
Isn't it time we got something out of it I...
Yes, I agree. – Good. Great.
You? Eh?
Yeah, I mean... if you think it's right, Martin, I'm in.
And I'm fine financially. Cause you know I got my dad to nick from.
Oh...
But .. if we were to make the story, a fun one.
Jess, Jess...
Let me tell you a story.
We're up there... and we were ready to go...
And we felt this presence.
I would describe it... as a light.
An ethereal glowing.
It was an angel.
We were visited by an angel. And it looked like Matt Damon.
Matt Damon.
Oh, 'fuck it. Yeah, I'm with her.
It looked like Matt Damon. Who is Matt Damon?
No, it wasn't really a physical angel, it was more of a uh...
Is that what Jess told you? What else did she say?
And he was naked, and he said, he literally decreed “Thou shall not die tonight.”
"It's not your time yet arrived."
I mean this is Matt Damon, the angel naked. Nude?
Maybe we shouldn't write all of this down. Could I talk to your editor?
He used to be a good mate of mine. An actor?
What film has he been in?
You're not actually gonna print this, are you?
Yeah, yeah no, that's how it went.
I had an interesting thing happened today.
- Did you? - Let me guess:
Your second daughter humiliated you
on the pages of the national press?
Actually no. I was in the members' spa...
And somebody came up to you, and said "Chris was that your daughter,
on pages of the national press?"
People have laughed at me for a long time,
but I did prefer it when they didn't laugh at you.
An angel... you told them you saw an angel.
Chris.
And did it looked like Jennifer. Is that what you said?
No.
No, dad... I didn't tell them it looked like Jennifer.
I told them that it looked like Matt Damon.
1... >
Many of us have been transfixed
By the story of the topper house 4 and the angel that visited them.
And we are so lucky here on "Rise and Shine with Penny"
To have them with us in the studio today.
One of them certainly needs no introduction, Martin
Martin Sharp, my old co-host.
Penny, it's an honor to be back on this old sofa again with you
and I'd really like to take this opportunity
to correct a few misconceptions
About this so-called angel... – And we will absolutely have time for that, Martin,
but it would be remiss of me not to begin the interview
With a bit of background on what's been happening to you in the last 12 months
Yes, well...
Yes, well Penny, currently I'm juggling various job opportunities
Concentrating on being a father.
And before that I was imprisoned, but what we would actually like to talk to you about
Is what we allegedly saw on the roof...
And of course the reason that you were imprisoned
was an inappropriate relationship with an under-aged girl?
That's right, Penny.
And this incident, this sex offense,
Led you to lose your job, your home, your family, and finally,
drove you to suicidal feelings.
That's right, Penny.
Which is of course where he met you lovely people...
Yes, we all met up there.
And where you saw your angel that looked like Matt Damon?
- Tell me more. - Hi, sorry.
It wasn't an angel. It was more of a light.
We never agreed on an angel! - now, Jess...
I really... talk to the other people before you...
We know you mostly through your father,
Shadow Education Secretary, Chris Crichton...
You should probably talk to JJ, because he is... is really interesting.
I'm sure he is... (Laughs) I'm sure you're all fascinating.
But Jess, my sympathy is particularly with you
Because of the devastating disappearance of your sister Jennifer.
Ah, you should talk to Maureen. Um...
His son lives in a cage.
But Jess let's focus on you... It's okay.
Were you close?
Penny, why don't you ask someone else a question?
My old co-host still trying to co-host me there.
Jess, tell me, was that what drove you up there?
Jennifer's disappearance? It must have been so painful.
I can see you're getting upset. You must have felt so alone.
I said talk to Maureen, bitch!
Many apologies. As you can see...
[... ] I told you to fucking listen to me.
<Jess! Jess, come back!
It's you!
Hey, I was just checking to see if you're uh ... you're okay
Yeah, never better champ.
That right?
You gonna keep following me?
You know where you're going?
Yeah, you know where I'm going, I'm going where I always go
Yeah?
Can you walk beside me, not behind me,
Cause my ass isn't my best feature.
Yeah, you uh.. you mentioned that.
This is where she parks it.
- Park what? - Mom's car.
My car.
It was gonna be my car when Jen went to university.
Found the car... Didn't find her.
You know, she just gone.
Perhaps she learned how to be invisible.
It must be tough.
My dad organizes this nation-wide search.
Really really got into it.
Mom... from the beginning she just gave up hope.
Anyway... at least I don't have cancer.
Yeah... yeah...
You don't have cancer, do you?
What?
I can see it. I can tell.
If I look healthy, it's because of the drug regimen I'm on right now.
I've never seen you take a single pill.
Well the drug regimen [... ] put in minimal.
JJ... I'm a professional liar.
You're not even a competent one.
It just came out, you know... I wanted to...
couldn't take it back so...
You weren't gonna jump weren't you?
You were just delivering pizzas and then you got too polite. - Yes, I was...
I was gonna jump, yeah.
Why?
Why? Um...
It's a simple enough question, JJ.
You're a pedophile! Like Martin!
What are the chances of that?
Four suicidalists, one roof, two of them pedophiles,
That's practically a convention.
I know, I shouldn't have lied. It's just...
cancer seemed... easier.
You're a strange guy JJ.
Fuck it. I'm stranger.
I like coming, hang out place where my sister disappeared.
Look.
What?
Swifts. You know my favourite thing about swifts?
They nest on their wing.
They're born and then they're fed
The moment they leave the birth place, they don't come down for 2 years
until they're ready to trade other baby swifts.
Oh my gosh...
You're a bird watcher! That's why you wanted to kill yourself...
You know, I understand now.
- Oh yeah? - Yeah
Good, good
Subedit By: SharePirate.Com
One elephant. Two elephants...
Three elephants. Four elephants...
On elephant. Two elephants...
- Three elef... - SOUNDS THE ALARM
Fuck!
My first band was called Geppetto.
We were a grunge band,
After grunge had long been forgotten.
Timing has never been my strong suit.
We came third in the Idaho state Battle of the Bands.
We got our pictures in the paper. And I was recognized in the mall.
For me that was fame.
But fame like this. But the "Topper House 4".
Suicide again then, is it?
Hi, Gladys... There's press still about
yeah.
And in me at three weeks we not only not died,
but we've been on the front pages of all the tabloids
and led many people to believe again
In the existence of angels.
Or at least Jess had.
We even had questions asked about us in parliament,
Though that might have been just to embarrass Jess' dad.
It was Martin who suggested getting away
He said we'd be like Butch and Sundance
Jess reminded him that didn't work out so well for them
But it seemed like a good idea, get away and hope
That by the time we got back
We'd be forgotten and the world would be a kinder place...
to us and for us.
I wish I had thought life a better option than death.
But I didn't and wishing wasn't gonna fix it
To quote one of Geppetto's songs:
"I don't mind the pain. It's the hope that kills me."
Yeah, we were pretty deep.
[... ] before the end of the holiday
- Punches? - Like kicks, or slaps, or tickles.
One of us will use physical violence against
one or the other, before the week's out.
- OK. - This holiday is going to be disaster.
I hope so. – So who's looking after Matty Maureen?
No one she's just left food in the fridge
And some wet wipes by the bed.
I'm sure the break would do you both good.
Yeah, that's what Dr. Stephens said. He's taking him for a week observation.
Your boarding pass, ma'am.
Your boarding pass with your flight details on it.
You will hand it in the check-in.
This? - and your passport.
Ok.
- Thank you. - Here you go.
Thank you very much.
Maureen? Maureen!
- Uh, no sorry you can't go back. - Maureen, stop!
It's just a trip!
Just a trip till all this press nonsense blows over.
_ It's just for the best. – I know, it's just all too much.
I don't know you.
And I don't travel well... and I've never been on a plane before.
You've never been on a plane before?
Shut up Jess.
Maureen, if you're afraid of flying... I'm not afraid of flying,
it's just um... I didn't want to be in the papers,
And I didn't want to be on TV and I don't want to be here now. I just...
I just want to go back to my old life, okay?
Well, your old life wasn't very good. Maureen.
Look, we made a pact.
It's gonna be fine.
Come on.
MUSIC
To a good holiday!
Good Afternoon! My name is Angelo and I will be your waiter.
Well, sometimes I will. Other times I will be there.
_ just a joke. But real, but a joke.
Hello, Angelo.
So you're from England? How nice.
Yeah, you knew that Angelo, you just talked English to us.
I did, I did... He always this clever your husband?
He's not her husband. – Let me guess...
- You're all lovers, right? - What?
Yes, right. – we are!
Yes, right.
I bring Vaseline and Maureen always brings the dildo.
Someone told me a joke about Vaseline once,
but I can't entirely remember.
It then continues to drink, so you will be remembered.
Oh Maureen, you must keep drinking till you remember...
<we're happy
Oh... the sun is so fierce.
And the sea is so sparkly and blue...
Oh, Maureen, tell me that you've seen the sea before?
Yes I've seen the sea before.
Hey, are we going in?
- No. - Of course we are!
- But we're not on our swimming costumes! - Underwear will be fine.
You are dangerous!
I do not want... No, no, no. Please no!
- Come on, take it! - Are you ready? Come on, come on, come on!
Keep going, keep going, eh!
Hey... hi.
Hey.
Maureen just called me up on the hotel phone.
Surprised to have her own bathroom.
She thinks this place is the height of luxury.
Yeah, it is kinda cool, huh?
Cheapest place I've stayed in for 20 years.
Yeah?
It doesn't feels strange does it? Us, being away together.
No... no, it feels good.
I thought I knew dealing with press... and then...
Then what? Jess smacked down?
No not at all, then I realized I got it all wrong, I thought people would like it
I thought we'd make money and people would find it
Eccentric, and heart-warming. – heart-warming?
Four people survived suicide, found hope.,
bla, bla...
I mean it's the kind of good news story that press love.
But... I underestimated how much they hate me.
This is not just about you, Martin.
You know... I envy you.
You, your cancer, I mean it's so... cut and dry.
No, really, really, JJ, I am so impressed with you.
I mean, you hardly let it face you.
And that is something to drink to. Here you go.
Put airs on your chest.
Your health.
You know what I feel when I wake up in the morning?
Humiliated.
Do you know what I feel at lunchtime? Humiliated.
My life is a constant stream of humiliation.
I don't feel sad, I don't feel angry, I just feel...
humiliated.
Yeah...
To humiliation.
Okay .. God gives you 3 wishes.
Ah! God is not some [..] machine, Martin.
He doesn't just give wishes. Three Wishes. Anything you want.
That's easy. Billions of pounds and...
My own personal hitman and...
a court waiver over anything I want to do.
Really?
I... I want a bit 'more... help.
A bit 'more of a... life.
What a bit 'more of a life? – Just what other people ... have.
What other people have?
And I wish my son all better. That's why I don't do wishes.
I'd want to be famous again. The right kind of famous.
I mean being famous is great.
Everyone thinks it's difficult, but it's not.
I mean you get to have best seats in restaurants,
People smile at you on planes... it's great.
Whatever you do, you feel vindicated by your own fame.
And you never... ever feel humiliated.
Well, certainly better than real life.
Wow, you're so deep...
- No, just honest. - Martin is...
What? You're nothing if you're not noticed.
Ok, fame or your kids?
- Hmmm - C'mon, you don't mean that.
Don't I?
Okay, this is a bad game.
Ok... wonder what JJ would choose, 3 wishes,
cause obviously you'd want to cure your cancer, for start.
Now, I'm gonna go use the restroom.
Then you'd probably want loads of money so
that you could donate it to cancer research.
You know other people are allowed to be in pain.
You know that, Jess?
Hey, es amigos ingleses how are we doing tonight?
No, leave it. He'll be fine.
Great! Keep drinking.
You're sitting in my seat.
What?
I'd find another seat, but you're also sitting on my shawl.
Oh, shit, sorry... um.
You know I think I recognize you from somewhere.
Yeah .. There's this thing...
May have been in the papers, I've been recently so.
No, that's not it.
Oh.
Are you in a band?
- What? - Yes you supported of Alt J.
- Yeah! - Manchester Towers! - Two years ago.
It was the first time we came to Britain.
- You're the frontman, right? – Yeah - I remember loving your lyrics.
Really? Yeah, wow! you know I wrote those
Adolescence shit mostly...
Are you still serious about it?
- Ah... I was, now, not so. - What's your name?
- JJ. - Which stands for?
John Julius...
Hi John Julius. I'm Kathy.
Hello, Kathy.
Wow!
MUSIC
This is brilliant!
I love it! She's beautiful.
- Who's that? - That, is uh... my uncle.
I think I recognize him. – Yeah, he's... vaguely famous.
A fellow musician with a vaguely famous uncle.
I'm a lucky girl!
I love it! See you later, baby.
MUSIC
- Come on, come on! - Why is that?
- We're going to dance. - No, Martin, I...
No, no, come on!
MUSIC
So... you're out here on your own?
Hm-hm. Other people just crowd and make it about themselves.
So, you're here with family, and your uncle...
Um... yes, a bit of family, friends, sort of.
But you don't like them? I mean you run away from them at the bar.
No, it's just that they can be a little... a little intense.
Hm-hm. And you don't like intense?
No... I can't really talk, because I'm intense.
Good.
Because if you're looking for a neurosis-free
girl, you're might out of luck.
- Oh, yah? - Yah.
Really? Yah.
I once set fire to my hair, just to see what'll happen.
I was 10 and it didn't improve my look.
Oh, that's nothing when I was a kid.
I jumped off our roof,
Just to see if I could hurt myself.
And, yeah, I broke my leg... And I didn't like it.
Okay, well how's this, it was kinda like.
I carved my ex-boyfriend's initials
Into my left inner thigh, as a way of telling him
that no one else would ever see that. Beat that!
Easy. I recently told some people that I had cancer
to avoid telling them the real reason,
I had for attempting suicide.
That is intense. What was the real reason?
I... I don't know.
I do know that I am now part of a pact
- That I had to lie to become... - What pact?
Just uh... just bunch of desperate people
being desperate together,
As a way of feeling a little less desperate.
Ok, you win the psycho game.
Good, good... well I've always wanted to win that game.
I haven't done this for a while, so...
- Okay, now I'm gonna say something. - Oh, fuck!
Because if I wait and say something
and you started to make a piss, I think that'd probably be worse.
Wait, how did you even...
Just a credit card and a bit 'of spit.
The hotel security is not [..].
How long have you been there?
Just really wanted to apologize...
for earlier.
Because I don't know why I said that. And
then I was probably gonna try and shank you.
She's really pretty, though. So, well done.
Hey... – You don't have to say anything,
You can take that one as a compliment.
So... I'll just leave quietly.
- Look, Jess... - No, no, really...
I'd prefer if you don't say anything.
You do knows she's a journalist though, right?
What? – Looked in the bag.
Saw a [..] recorder, in the bar.
Oh, shit... – So she fucked you though right?
Hey, hey...
MUSIC
YELLING
MUSIC
I think it's sweet.
I think it's unsanitary.
No, the other part of you thinks that other part of you thinks that it's sweet.
Oh...
What are you waiting here?
Im only waiting for them to finish this tray
of scrambled eggs and bring in a new tray.
Scrambled eggs are never fresh, Martin.
I may not have been on a lot of holidays, but I've been in lot hospitals,
And I understand Institute catering.
Who are these people? And why do they eat so much?
They're having a good time, that's all.
- Martin? - Hm?
Thank you for arranging this holiday. I think it's been good for me.
You really don't understand what it is [..] do you?
Come on, let's get you some breakfast.
Yes, good idea. Good idea...
The prunes very good. – Don't like prunes.
- Hey. - Hi.
Oh, good morning JJ. might have said some stupid things last night...
Drinks' have never been my best friend, sorry about that.
So, I got a few things to say...
and I don't think you're gonna like, any of them.
Are you going back to America?
So I'm gonna start with the biggest... Um, I don't have brain cancer in the brain.
- I don't have CCR. - Oh, you've cured you!
No, Maureen, I never had it. I made it all up.
There's actually no such thing as CCR.
Just Creedence Clear water Revival,
One of my favourite bands, but...
I wasn't gonna say anything.
Did you know about this? – I thought there was something strange.
So why? JJ? Were you up there?
- You can't answer that, that's personal. - He had good reasons.
Oh did he? JJ, did you?
Yes .. Yes, actually uh, we need to postpone this conversation.
We had a pact. I trusted you, I liked you!
Martin, please, just sit down. We'll talk about this another time.
Another time, I mean what time.. – Hey, where were you?
Oh, right, great. We'll stop for your girlfriend do we!
She's not my girlfriend, okay? She is... a journalist.
What? – Look, I didn't know.
- You don't know much do you? - If he didn't know, he didn't know.
We've had bad things written about us before...
Look, I understand that you're angry, but please,
Martin I'm feeling pretty humiliated. You don't understand anything!
You certainly don't understand humiliation! Martin you're being dramatic.
[... ] You're a fake, you're a fraud! You're a jerk JJ!
- Martin, stop this! - John...
Who the fuck is John?
I'm! I'm John! And you know what?
I'm not a fraud! – Stop it! Remember the pact!
'Fuck the pact!
- Ugly bitch! - I am not a fraud!
False, hypocrite! Don't ever touch me again!
Good morning, sunshine.
Hello, sweetheart.
Are you sleepy yet?
How are you?
Good Morning. Alright here we go...
Not having Matty with me on the holiday,
It felt like I was missing a leg.
Strange... Light...
That's probably not like we see in leg at all.
I don't imagine, most people's first impression
of leg-losses, weightlessness..
How's that... here we go.
I missed him most when the plane was landing.
We shooked a little on [..]
Thought I was going to die... and I hadn't say goodbye.
JJ's girlfriend's piece meant the story.
Our story didn't die.
But Martin said concentrate on being boring.
Then they'd eventually leave us alone. So that's what I did.
Not difficult.
And as the others, as soon as we landed,
We scattered in different directions,
like we were allergic to each other.
Pact's broken beyond repair
and without the pact, our friendship was broken too.
I still saw them. Patchly, every now and then.
I saw Jess in places she shouldn't be.
And I did make a little to find JJ.
Just to check if he was okay.
JJ, you can not!
I tell you for the last time, slower!
I never saw Martin.
Though, mostly I got on with my life...
And hope they get on with theirs.
Matty did really well.
We did some interesting reflex work
Nice [..].
He reacted well to company..
Surely love the change from my [..].
And we couldn't get him out of this pool.
Yes, he's always loved water.
There might be a slot for him
To come to my weekly sessions, if you'd like it.
Oh I'm sure he'd love it.
I'll add him to the list.
You look like, you got a bit of 'color.
Yeah, from the pictures in the papers...
looked like... You picked a nice spot.
Yes .. well...
SING
Matty? Matty?
Matty?
No... No.
Matty?
Matty!
Lady, you must wait here.
We'll let you know as soon as possible.
- Hey, Maureen. - Oh...
Oh... you came too.
Yes, nothing on TV. Ah, This is my dad.
Drove me... Probably say something moving.
I'm sorry to hear about your son, Maureen.
Hmm, is one of his best attempts.
I'm really grateful... you're here.
Of course we're here!
This isn't tea.
- Yes, it's hot chocolate. - I asked for tea.
I was buying, and I don't like the smell of tea.
So when you buy rounds in pubs?
Pitchers, then you never have to buy round ever again
It's clever, right? Is JJ still not here then?
No. I couldn't get through to him. Probably not picked up his messages.
Yeah, not round, doesn't really care [..].
I generally don't know how you survived that?
Eat [..].
I'm going to make you seat in the car in a minute.
Eat [..].
He wasn't the only reason I was up there. Matty... It wasn't.
No?
There were lots of reason I was up on that roof...
You once asked me why, Jess?
And then, I said I felt... I felt helpless.
But the truth is I've done a list for living
And a list for...
It was a feeling, not a thought.
But not one of those reasons...
was that I didn't love my son. Not one of them, not one.
Maureen, we know that.
Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Don't tell me.
No, no, no, He's fine... Maureen, he's fine. – what?
We're gonna keep monitoring him but he's no longer critical.
He'll be fine.
He'll be fine? – He'll be fine.
Okay.
Tubes look worse than they are.
We'll remove some tonight. The rest hopefully will be up tomorrow.
I should have seen it coming.
If it had proper care...
Maureen... you saved him.
It was a myocardial infarction.
He had a heart attack of sort.
The symptoms were almost invisible.
I didn't notice it.
I was monitoring him and I...
But you caught it... you saved his life.
Matty is very lucky boy to have you.
I only had one thought...
When he...
If he dies...
I die.
Well, he lived.
And maybe he feels the same way you feel about him
Have you ever consider that?
In a few days we'll put him home.
- It's Valentine's Day. - Hm-hm.
- Martin? - Yeah?
Today is Valentine's Day? - good.
Martin? Press TV has completely messed up your brain hasn't it?
Oh, JJ, the pact!
Get Maureen, I'll find JJ now.
Yes .. Oh, shit!
- Have you seen JJ? - JJ is gone.
Gone? – Yeah, he's a prick.
He left us over a week ago without even [..] notice!
That prick you're talking about Paulo,
Happens to be my daughter's friend...
And you do well to remember that.
You're called Paulo aren't you?
Um ... it says “Paulo's place” outside in the um...
Certainly sound italian... And you look Italian and...
Love your [..].
Come on, Dad.
Oh, Uh yes, hi, hi I'm looking for JJ.
John, John Julius.
Oh, JJ...
I hoped you wouldn't be up here.
Did you know that 3 people have killed themselves from this building,
between New Year's and today?
Sue Chalmott, housewife, and manic depressive...
David Frommet, a banker who lost everything and...
Ben Peterson... he was only 15.
So you're going to join them ...?
I kept to the pact, Martin, okay?
This, me, it's none of your business now.
True.
Why though JJ? Why are you up here?
That's the thing... Martin, I lied to you.
I don't know. - ... You don't know?
And that makes my reason's
Better than any of yours.
I wasn't aware that this was a competition.
You see... what Jess needs is to feel important...
Maureen needs to feel loved...
and you, you just need to... grow a brain.
Fair enough.
So you can solve your problems, but me I can't.
Martin, Martin, stop. Martin, just stop walking.
Three steps and I'm gone.
Oh, God...
Look, I'm just...
I'm just tired of...
Of being scared all the time not knowing why.
I'm tired of being... trying to change...
and not knowing how...
You know, even my last shit band
Moving countries.
Because however much I do, change...
I'm left with me.
So that's how you got it all worked out JJ? logical...
Reason you don't wanna die, is because you don't wanna live.
It's as simple as that right? I used to think like that too.
JJ!
And then there were 4.
Don't you get it? I mean we made it!
Alright, we all made it to Valentine's Day and nothing...
Nothing, absolutely nothing has changed!
- But... everything has changed. - What?
Everything.
We are standing in entirely different positions, for one thing.
I didn't ever wanna be up here again, JJ.
I'm pretty sure none of us did. He's right.
You know, it's shit up here.
I hope, I think...
we still matter to you, JJ.
I mean why else would you pick Valentine's Day.
You may think you want to die... but you knew, we loved you.
We're not up here because we want to die, we're here for you.
The topper house 4.
We belong together, we're a team.
I mean we're the worst team the world has ever known, and if I was picking
I mean none of you would have made it on to the subs bench.
But still... we're a team.
I know, it's not much, son...
But... maybe... we'll start.
You can't even see the bottom...
Hello?
Can anybody hear me? -
We can hear you and see you, Martin. - Bonsoir Martin
Oh, hey!
Maureen, is that glitter on your face?
No, no, no, that is... yes... Matty, seems to like it
We're having a kind of... well, New Year's party!
Maureen, you rager!
Jess! please, tryin to keep the noise down out here! Okay, shh.
It was ​​Dr. Stephen, err, Robert's idea actually.
He's been hugely helpful, in return for me joining his quiz team.
Which has cost much controversy
Because I was supposed to join another quiz team and it's just kinda complicated
Sounds complicated.
I saw your dad got promoted, Jess?
Okay, we must have better news than that, Come on somebody say something. Martin?
Why don't you stoke up this party.
When you tell us about some of your recent bedtime conquest.
Well, I'm often asleep by 10. On my own... Exhausted.
Are children famous for getting up early in the morning?
I had no idea.
God, when will we turn into little houses on the fucking Preri
I missed you... All.
You know, I got.. I got something to say. My therapist...
Therapist? There we go, that's some news!
Did you all know that JJ is officially mad?
Jess, you see a therapist too.
Yeah of course, but all the best people are mad in my opinion.
My therapist told me a story, true story of this guy who...
Survived jumping off the golden gate bridge.
That's an anecdote, that's not certainly news.
The moment he jumped,
he realized that the only thing in his life that he couldn't fix
was the thing he'd just done.
I mean can you imagine, those 5 seconds as he fell.
The agony of that.
Well, to me it feels like I fell... without falling.
Because of you guys, I had my
5 seconds up on that roof and not in the air
Mmh... 5 seconds...
Each of us has given another 5 seconds.
I like that, JJ.
Then those 5 seconds have turned into a year.
Into life sentence.
You people make me want to kill myself
Maureen, Coming? – no, no I'm just talking to my friends
Maureen, what are you va? Maureen!
Ok... What just happened?
Did Maureen just made us looked like we're the square ones?
Remember, you're the one who accused her of having too many cats.
- Time to sign off. - Happy New Year, Jess.
Happy New Year, Martin.
Happy new year, Jess.
Happy new year, John Julius.
We could go to party you know,
in case you were worried about being upstaged by Maureen.
That's just the problem, you know isn't it?
I don't don't really want to go to a party.
Yeah.
I think you've broken me!
- Don't... smile. - No.?
- I will kill you... - I know.
If you smile...
Come on.
Up to bed, sleepyhead.
There you go.
Here we go ... there you go.
Is it midnight yet, Daddy?
Yes .. It is... You made it.
And Happy New Year.
Let's go.