♪ Rows and flows of angel hair ♪
♪ And ice cream castles in the air ♪
♪ And feather canyons everywhere ♪
♪ I've looked at clouds that way ♪
♪ And now they only block the sun ♪
♪ They rain and snow on everyone ♪
♪ So many things I would have done ♪
♪ But clouds got in my way ♪
♪ I've looked at clouds from both sides now ♪
♪ From up and down, and still somehow ♪
♪ It's clouds' illusions I recall ♪
♪ I really don't know clouds at all ♪
♪ Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels ♪
♪ The dizzy dancing way you feel ♪
♪ When every fairy tale comes real ♪
♪ I've looked at love that way ♪
♪ And now it's just another show ♪
♪ You leave them laughing when you go ♪
♪ And if you care, don't let them know ♪
♪ Don't give yourself away ♪
♪ I've looked at love from both sides now ♪
♪ Give and take, and still somehow ♪
♪ It's love's illusions I recall ♪
♪ I really don't know love at all ♪♪
You should get a discount if you die visiting your beloved.
I don't know why you picked a hilltop. You know...
It's not exactly like you can take in the view.
Anyway, um,
happy birthday, Sarah Elizabeth.
♪ Lord, I was born a ramblin' man ♪
♪ Tryin' to make a livin' and doin' the best I can ♪
♪ And when it's time for leavin' ♪
♪ I hope you'll understand ♪
♪ That I was born a ramblin' man ♪
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
You give me a present, I'll give you a present.
Bingo.
Ten-foot ceilings.
Original Georgian classic cornices.
We have rich Quarter Sawn oak floors.
You don't find quality and craftsmanship at anything that's built today.
We have a formal dining room.
French doors opening to the patio.
And this is the kitchen.
Double Viking range.
Too expensive.
What? Are you an appraiser?
Five-seven, five-eight tops.
Mr. Little, I think what Le Duc is asking,
is just whether there might be a little wiggle room in the price?
He loves the house. Tour's over.
Oren, please.
No one meant any offense with the verbal offer.
Let me explain something to you.
Wiggle room is squeezing into a pair of pants too small and hoping they don't split.
You got enough wiggle room, you can call extortion a loan.
Kidnapping, a get-together. Point taken.
Probably not the right term for a three-million-dollar disparity.
By the way, we're not Chinese.
Rape is just another sign of affection...
What do you mean you're not Chinese? Vietnamese.
Well, I was in the area.
I'm sorry this didn't work out, Oren. He was a cash buyer.
This house is worth 8.6 million. That's what it's gonna sell for.
I have other clients flying in. They saw the house on the Internet.
Thursday at noon?
Where are they from? Black.
♪ Hide your heart from sight ♪
♪ Lock your dreams at night ♪
♪ It could happen to you ♪
♪ Don't count stars ♪
♪ Or you might stumble ♪
Some...
Can't...
Cat!
I said... Oh!
What are those kids doing here? They came out of nowhere.
Oh, you guys! Thanks, Artie. Oh, my God.
I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Okay. Okay.
- Bye-bye. - Hi, kids. All right.
Oh, my gosh! Boys... Hey, Leah.
- What? - Is the noise okay?
No, no. I love the commotion. Are you kidding?
Look what I taught these guys. Boys! Mr. Little.
Too much noise! Too much noise!
Okay, I love that finger wag. Nice touch, guys. Great touch.
- Oh, mojito, Kate? - Oh, desperate for one.
Too much noise! Too much noise!
Dog!
Touch my car and I'll have you spayed.
Neutered.
For Pete's sakes, cut their hair. Dress them like men.
Is what you're gonna say...
really worth what I'm about to say back?
Oh, okay.
- Would you care to join us, Mr. Little? - Who's us?
Well, Kate. She's coming down for a mojito.
Cheers.
You know, you should have let them move downstairs with the children.
And then you could have taken their apartment.
This is the one that was available. This is the one I took.
No, but they told the manager that they wanted your place before it was even empty.
So, if you ask me, something fishy went on for you to get...
I was the number one Realtor in sales seven years in a row back in the '90s.
In the entire county. I know everybody.
And half of everybody I know thinks they know me.
So, complain to the manager.
Give me it! No!
Give me the snake! Too much noise.
Too much noise! Too much noise!
If this is where number one lives, God help number two.
Hey.
Hey. Hey, buddy.
You all right? What's this?
Now what dumb-ass would shoot you with a paintball gun?
Okay, I like this drink, but I think it's a little...
- Beautiful evening. - Oh, no. Oh, hey. - Hello.
- Evening. - Okay, seriously. How did you...
You know if he parked over just a little bit,
we wouldn't have to hunt for a space on the street.
Complain to the manager.
Hey, Peter, how was that water?
Choppy. Choppy, yeah. Choppy?
Come on. Let's get you out of that wet suit. Put this guy on.
- Here, hold up a towel. - You all right? Here you go.
For Pete's sake, will you cover your dick? I'm trying to eat a sandwich.
Is that language really necessary?
Complain to the manager.
We have. Everyone has.
- Well, I... - Oh, everyone?
And we're calling again tomorrow to tell her how rude and selfish you are.
Oh, oh, oh. So I got a dick in my face, right? Somehow I'm to blame?
He said "dick."
Okay that's too much. Okay.
You called the manager on me,
Yeah. A number of times actually.
Well, during one of those times,
did she happen to mention that I own this building?
You own...
Little Shangri-la?
Little?
Shangri-la?
Something to think about next time you get an itch to rat me out?
You know what? I don't care if you do own the building.
My wife is going to give birth soon.
Yesterday, we had to park a block away...
because you refuse to move your car just a few feet.
Please share the driveway.
- Or what? - Or nothing.
I'm asking as a favor.
You need to have a little compassion. Okay?
Sorry about my dick.
Okay.
My wife died of cancer!
For two years, I bathed her, I changed her.
I cooked for her. I fed her.
I even prayed for her.
And I cried all I'm ever gonna cry.
I had compassion.
- Claire. - Oren.
Good morning, Oren. Today at noon?
Wouldn't miss it, Teddy.
The house is not worth eight million. And it's Ted.
Eight-point-six, Teddy.
- How long have you been in the business? - Seven years, as you well know.
- Every day is better than the last. - Don't be a smart-ass.
We've been here since your grandfather started this business 44 years ago.
So, where do you get the gall to second-guess the listing of an Oren Little?
I don't have gall, Grandma. I have comps.
And they don't support an eight million... excuse me...
an $8.6 million list price.
When he was a baby, he used to play with his willy like it was a rambunctious puppy.
All I need is this one last sale before I cast my line in the river.
And if he can help me, I'll play with his willy.
The only way you're gonna get anywhere near a river is if you lower the asking price.
You'll get five-eight, not a penny more.
And you'll get hit by a bus if the driver does what he's paid to do.
That's a Viking 48-inch dual fuel range...
with a convection oven.
A subzero refrigerator and freezer, both ENERGY STAR and Kosher certified,
if you're Sammy Davis Jr.
Who?
Look, there's two of 'em here, and neither one knows who Sammy Davis Jr is.
Who is he? Jesus Christ.
We have a Thermador dishwasher here...
and Clive Christian cabinetry all the way around.
If you'll wait outside, I'll join you after the showing.
Are you selling our house?
One client at a time.
I thought Common owned this house.
Who's Common?
- Dad? - One client at a time, Luke.
We've seen enough.
Look, the, children's bedroom and the game room is upstairs.
I like the new kitchen.
So, is my bedroom the same?
Or did you put a picture of a kid who's not an addict in that room?
What are you doing here?
I don't know. I thought I should check in every death,
or 10 years, whichever comes first.
You still got the scar from rolling down the hill.
Yeah. You shouldn't have buried mom on a mountaintop.
No. It was a hill.
And the only reason you rolled down is because you were so high,
you passed out and hit your head on a gravestone.
Well, I'm sober now.
Well, good for you.
And I'm going to prison.
Perfect.
I shouldn't ask you this... See...
That's a bad start to a sentence.
I need you to take care of my daughter while I'm gone.
You've got a daughter?
Heroin's an ugly drug that gave me a beautiful girl.
Her name is Sarah. That was your mother's name.
She'll be 10 next month. Sh... She's got nowhere else to go, Dad.
Where's the mother?
The mother's family?
I'm gonna have to say no.
Dad, they're gonna send her to foster care. I'm living in the fourplex.
I have all my things there. I can barely turn around.
It's only nine months.
- Six months with good behavior. - I can't.
Look, if I had anybody else I could turn to, I wouldn't be here.
I mean, you must know that.
I already tried to raise a kid. It didn't work out.
♪ Heaven ♪
♪ I'm in heaven ♪
♪ And my heart beats so that I can barely speak ♪
♪ And I seem to find the happiness I seek ♪ You? A grandfather?
Christ on ice and Mary in the penalty box.
I'd escape to that cabin of yours right now.
♪ Out together dancing ♪
♪ Out together dancing cheek to cheek ♪
Ooh! Thank you.
Yes, well. This next song...
I'm in love... Oh, thanks.
Oh, my gosh.
Anyway... Oh, dear, what is this?
Congratulations to Dan and Samantha?
Is that what you're telling me? Dan and Samantha, where are you?
Yeah. Hi. There you are.
I'm so happy for you. It's your 30th wedding anniversary?
Thank you.
Thirty years!
I love you.
Wow.
You know, I was married for 30 years.
And I know if my husband hadn't died of an undetected aneurysm,
he'd be with me here tonight and...
we'd be singing...
♪ Blue moon ♪
Ma'am, there's no smoking in here.
Good. You're too young to smoke.
♪ Without a dream in my heart ♪
What kind of act is this? All she does is cry.
Frank, I'm sorry. I can't.
I'm gonna go over there for now. I'll be right back.
I'm just gonna get some air. Sure.
Little... Shangri-la.
Oh, my God.
Oh. I'm sorry. I thought I heard somebody here.
Are you... You okay?
No, yeah. I'm fine. This is just...
something that I do.
You're a good cook.
Really? My wife, she was a good cook.
Sarah Elizabeth. Sarah Beth.
Beautiful name.
Eugene.
Not so much in the name, you know, but he was really a beautiful man.
Not at all in the name.
Do people really let you get away with being you?
Are... Are you gonna eat all this?
Oh! No, no. Would you like some?
No, no. Only if you're... if you're gonna...
I'll get you a plate, okay?
And maybe a glass?
You have a very nice voice.
You think so? I don't know.
It's haunting.
Heh. Well, thank you, I guess.
Your, patter on the other hand... I know.
I know. I just kinda started this singing thing,
and I don't know, I can't, like, you know, like, um, um...
It won't. You know, I don't know.
I just, like... out of my mouth.
I think it's like a basic rule that between songs...
you keep any references to aneurysms or to dead loved ones down to a minimum.
Yeah. I know. I gotta work on that.
And when you sing "Cry Me a River," Yeah?
it doesn't have to be the whole river.
Right. I do get a little emotional.
So you've said.
This is really good pasta.
So you've said.
Do you ever just run out of things to say?
No.
Good pasta.
You.
What do you think you're doing?
It's just nine months.
I told you I have no room.
What's going on?
It's my son. He's... He's on his way to jail.
Wait... Who's that?
That's my granddaughter.
She's probably Guatemalan. What?
He had sex with the maid once.
Dad, this is Sarah. Sarah, this is your...
- Oren. - Nice to meet you.
You're pretty. Do you know that?
Oh my God, look at you.
Look how beautiful you are.
I'm... I'm Leah. How old are you?
Ten on my birthday.
Next Friday.
Okay.
Daddy's gotta go now. Okay? I'm gonna write you everyday. No.
I love you so much. No. Don't leave.
No, no. It's okay. Grandpa's gonna take care of you.
Oh, now I'm Grandpa. What happened to Oren?
Don't worry. Don't worry. Okay. It's gonna be okay.
It's going to be all right. I'm gonna make sure that you're safe, okay?
Thank you. Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, wait a minute. What's, - What's with the dog?
He's a stray. I found him by the house.
Sarah loves him. She named him Paint.
All right. It's all right.
You wanna come inside and have some ice cream?
All right.
Let's go. Let's go.
Just go right...
What is it with you? You only shit where live?
Am I gonna stay with you?
Well, I don't... I don't really know. This is all kinda new.
Can I have some more ice cream?
Oh, course you can.
Oh. One sec.
Is she okay? Well, she's calmed down.
Good. Good. Okay, I've gotta go to work.
No... Whoa. Slow down. Wait, what's the game plan here?
I don't know. I don't know. Um...
Can you watch her for today? Sure. I mean, I can watch her, but...
I'm gonna figure it out. I'll figure it out.
Now I'm the shitbag here. I'm not the one going to jail.
You know what Luke was thinking while he was rolling down that hill?
He wasn't thinking or he wouldn't have showed up stoned at his mother's funeral.
He was thinking the last person who really loved him had just died.
- Do you know what he did to land in jail? - I didn't ask, no.
Nothing. He was bullied and threatened by the S.E.C...
to rat out his boss over some back-dating stock crap.
They intimidated him with a long sentence.
Called him a co-conspirator. Then they offered a plea deal.
And the only reason he took it was because he didn't want to be away from Sarah for so long.
Good for him.
You wanna hear the kicker?
The charges against his boss were dropped, but Luke had already been sentenced,
so he's going to jail for something no one did.
How... How do you know all this?
I googled him, and I friended him on Facebook.
We've been texting.
If you wanna keep in contact with him.
You should be proud of him.
Okay, so "figure it out" means ignore the situation and hope that it goes away?
I am working on things, okay? Where is the girl now?
The girl? The Guatemalan. My granddaughter.
Where is she now? Well, she's drawing.
I'll pay you to watch her. I don't want your money.
It'll only be for a few days.
Besides, she kinda takes to you. What do you mean a few days?
Don't worry about it. I'm gonna find her mother. Look what I drew.
Oh, let me... Oh, well, that's... That is terrific.
What do you think of that, Oren?
Yeah, it's a horse. Yeah.
Okay, you know what I think, Sarah? I think you should go inside,
and I think you should put on your pajamas,
and then you can spend the night with me, okay?
Okay.
What is the matter with you? You can't possibly be as heartless as you seem.
Yeah. Well, thanks for,
Yeah, well, you have a real "good" night, Oren.
Okay. Good day.
So you let me know if you need anything, at all.
- Okay. - Okay.
Good night, Sarah. Everything's gonna be okay.
All right.
- Do I have to be alone? - No. No, come here.
Come on in.
Come here, Sarah. Of course not.
Here. You wanna get into bed here?
Yeah? Yeah.
Okay.
Here you go, Paint. Here. Here you go. There you go.
- You wanna go out and play, Sarah? - No.
It's beautiful day out.
Whoa.
- Sarah, do you like caterpillars? - I don't know.
- You like butterflies, right? - I guess.
Do you know that Native Americans believe that butterflies carry wishes...
to the great spirit in heaven to be granted?
Really? Oh, yeah.
You wanna go try and catch some caterpillars?
- How? - Well, I know a place.
- Where caterpillars are? - Oh, sometimes.
- Okay. - Okay. Let's do it.
Jason. You look good.
Working out? Oh. Mr. Little.
Would you like to... come in? Sure.
Let me just clean up a little bit.
I'm, - I'm looking for Sarah's mother?
- What? Luke's Sarah? - That's the one, yeah.
Oh, man, what was her name?
I have no clue where that chick's gone to.
Well, Jason, I got $100 in my wallet.
Think of all the nice chemicals you can buy. It's Rita.
Where does she live? I... I don't know.
Too bad for you.
Well, I know where her parents used to live.
Her parents? Yeah, I...
I kept the address 'cause we used to break in to take stuff...
to sell, you know, when we got desperate.
And-And you sure they don't live there anymore? No, they moved.
Like, they kept getting robbed.
Jason, why didn't you steal from me?
Luke wouldn't let us.
How can he not just fall in love?
Really, I don't think he's ever gotten over his wife's death.
It's hard to imagine him loving anyone.
- Don't say that. - Can me, Caleb and Dylan have Popsicles?
Only if you give me a kiss.
And I want my kiss right on my nose.
Mwah!
Oh. Okay. Now we're talking.
One, two, and we got three. Three Popsicles. Go. Have fun.
Nice boy. Good boy!
Stay away from that one. He showed me his penis.
You really a detective with the Bridgeport police department?
Am I still allowed to have some fun?
No, there's something about seeing the law in a bathing suit...
that just doesn't fit right.
You came over to tell me that?
I was wondering if you could find the people...
that owned this house 10 years ago.
I don't think I can do that, Oren.
You know, it's amazing...
how nicely our two cars fit together side by side.
Oh, you know, I used to love the Slip'N Slide!
Well, I'm... I'm sure you did.
- I'll be right out! - Okay, take your time!
- Are you the, - You're the piano player. - Yeah, yeah. Artie Burns.
I play with Leah at the... The Oaks Bistro.
- Well, what are you doing here? - I came here to pick her up.
- You mean on a date? - Yeah.
No, no. You're not her type.
She likes a man, you know, with actual hair.
- Well, I've been going with her... - Sleeping with her?
- Well, no, I mean... - I am.
Don't embarrass yourself.
Whoa!
I... Ooh...
Hey!
- You told him we had sex? - How much do they pay you?
Did you tell him we had sex? I don't know how... How much?
$600, but that's not the point... They are stealing from you.
The food is shit. They come for you. They... I don't know.
I don't know about that. Leah, I'm almost dry!
Oh, okay! Okay, thank you. I told you.
What? You have a beautiful voice.
Particularly when you make it all the way through a song. Oh, well...
I can get you a job pays twice as much. What?
From now on, I'm gonna be your agent.
You're insane. I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm a salesman. That's what I do.
I know a hot property when I see one. "Hot property"?
This is a hot property? I don't think so. You bet your ass.
Look, I-I-I... I don't...
I don't need an agent actually. Yes, you do.
No, I don't really need an agent. And if I did, I'm certain it wouldn't be you.
You don't really have the qualifications. What are your qualifications?
Here's my qualifications: You don't have to pay me rent...
until I find you a job at 1,200 a week.
Really? Really.
Leah, I'm ready! I gotta go. I gotta go.
I consider that an oral contract.
I don't... I-I... I don't think so.
- How old are you? - Ten on Friday.
Dad told you.
Does your mom ever visit you on your birthday?
I don't know my mom.
What about grandparents?
You're my grandparent. Aren't you?
Yeah, I guess, yeah.
Are you a hoarder? What?
No, no, I'm... I'm storing things until I can escape.
You want one slice of bologna or two?
Two. With one cheese in the middle.
- All right. You got it. - No mayo.
- Butter. - I knew that. Yeah.
Where are you escaping to, Oren?
I'm moving to Vermont.
More butter, please.
- Would you like to do this yourself? - Only if you do it wrong.
Daddy and I went to Vermont last year when I was eight.
We got to fly there, and he taught me how to fish.
I taught your dad how to fish.
The place we stayed at had salt shakers shaped like cows.
That's where I'm going.
He always said he hated it up there.
I think he liked going up there with me.
Take that box. Put it on that box that's on that box over there.
Good girl.
Don't feed a dog human food. You know, it teaches 'em how to beg.
You gave him the mayonnaise bread. No, I didn't.
I saw you.
You're gonna make someone a great wife someday.
I like the sandwich. Thank you.
So, what are you doing with these bugs?
They're caterpillars. Me and Leah are doing a science project.
Well, good for you.
You wanna watch some TV? Sure.
I won't watch animation, MTV, Bravo, Oprah, reruns or sitcoms.
What do you wanna watch? Can we watch Duck Dynasty?
What station is it on? A&E.
Sure.
I love honey. I've never been able...
to grab the rear end of my hunting partner before.
I also love my wife.
It's kind of exciting. Jason.
Stands to reason, the two things may go together quite well.
We've been walkin' forever.
Back so soon.
Hello. What happened?
No chemistry?
Right. How'd it go with you two?
Well, she fell asleep.
You want to come in and watch the end of Duck Dynasty? It's surprisingly engaging.
I think I'm gonna have to pass. But you can carry her over to my place, okay?
My back... I got a bad back.
You can wake her up or just lift her up. Forget it. I don't care.
What's... What's with you? What's your problem?
I just... What am I doing with my life?
You know? I'm... I'm a wannabe lounge singer?
With a shark for an agent. No, it's ridiculous. I'm 65.
I have sold houses older than you, all right? In a lot worse condition.
That makes me feel good.
Yeah.
It's a compliment.
Where do you want me to put her? Just put her over there. Thank you very much.
That's it. Do you need... Are you all right?
Oh, here, let's... Thank you.
We need... I forgot how... how soundly they sleep.
It's true. Look at her. Okay, baby.
Okay. There you go. My God. There.
This looks like a Eugene.
And what does a Eugene look like?
Like someone who loved you.
The last time I had sex, I tore my A.C.L.
Is this relevant to anything?
Well, I just thought it was some information that you should have.
Is this by any chance some pathetic attempt at flirtation?
Well, when you put it that way, no.
Good night, Oren. I...
Buenos días. Hello.
His English isn't very good.
This house is $8.6 million.
Did you know that?
- It says so on the brochure. - You... you read English?
It was in numbers, but I do read.
Okay. Why don't we start in the living room.
We got 10-foot ceilings,
moldings, floors, plaster mantel.
What did he say?
His papa was a plasterer.
Everybody's gotta do something.
You're kidding me.
Hey, can I help you? Oh, hi.
Well, yeah, we're... Well, these guys,
they're looking for an upgrade to... a larger home.
Okay. You know they're caterpillars, right?
No, yeah, I know. We're just doing a science project.
Oh, okay. Is this your granddaughter?
Oh, I... Yes.
Um, you know what? I need to go get something for Paint, all right?
You pick out the terrarium that you want, okay?
Oh.
Okay, okay.
So, where are you all from? Texas.
I have a list of 40 states I try to avoid.
Texas is number seven.
Can I, get you anything to drink? Water, soda? Beer?
Thank you. We have two other places to look at, so...
Excuse me. Oren Little.
Speak.
You stay right there. I'm coming right now.
Well, I wish you the best of luck on your search.
And... Yes, it's a hell of a lot of lawn to mow.
So what do you got?
The family that owned the house is dead,
but they have a daughter.
- She still lives in the county, if that's of interest. - It might be, yeah.
Unfortunately, I'm not allowed to give you the address.
What did you bring me down here for then?
I'm gonna get a cup of coffee.
You want anything?
Really? Oh. This is how it works?
Either you break the law or I do.
I'm a detective and you're desperate.
Who do you think's more likely to be stupid?
♪ Together we'll stand ♪
♪ Divided we'll fall ♪
♪ Come on, now, people Let's get on the ball and work together ♪
I think we gotta look for a bigger place. I mean, Peter needs his own room.
Yeah, well, I don't know. Maybe if you use Oren,
he might give you a kickback on the commission just to get rid of you.
The advantages of an intolerable relationship.
No, but wait. He is good at what he does. I do think that.
What? Oh... Sarah?
Happy birthday. I found your mother.
It's not my birthday.
Yeah, but you'll be with your mother on Friday.
And you can take this with you.
Hey. Hey, guys, guys. Step back, will you? You're making me nervous.
Boys, leave Mr. Little alone.
- Too much noise! Too much... - Dog!
And I bet you think your kids are funny? Do you think I'm stupid?
Would you be my Realtor?
- Is my mother nice? - I haven't met her, but I'll bet she is.
Excuse me, but what do you mean you haven't met her yet?
No, I talked to her on the phone.
She seemed nice and-and surprised.
Do I have to go?
Me and Grandma haven't finished our science project yet.
She wants to meet you, all right? So I'm gonna get your suitcase.
You get your toothbrush and your p.j.'s, and you can spend the night together.
- I don't know her. - She's your mother.
Do I have to? Let me handle this.
Let me handle this.
I want to talk to you. Talk.
Did you even consider her feelings?
Her father's in jail. She's never even met this woman.
You think I didn't check her out? She's clean.
- Clean? - That's right. She's not doing heroin anymore.
You're sending her to live with a junkie?
- Former junkie. - No, you're not! You are not.
- No! Hold... - I am her legal guardian.
The only one that outranks me is her mother. You don't count.
Now, if you're looking for someone to mother at your late stage in life,
I suggest you get a dog.
I got one you can have too.
You think it's a quick fix to give her a mother she doesn't know?
You know what? I don't believe you've ever loved anybody.
Not your son, your granddaughter or your wife!
Don't you talk about my wife.
When did it happen, Oren? When she died?
Did you bury all your feelings for her, or were you always like this?
Does she have more kids besides me?
I'm not sure, honey. There might be more.
Will you be with me? Well, of course I'm gonna be with you.
Grandma's gonna help you pack.
Aren't you, Grandma?
Might as well take everything just in case you like her.
Daddy takes me to Bristol Playland on my birthday.
He wrote me another letter. Would you like to read it?
Not now, honey. No.
I, understand you need a real estate agent.
I did... teach them to say what they say when they hear your name.
And, um, I did think it was funny.
But not anymore. Not at all.
So, what kind of property you looking for?
A house. A lease. Yeah.
Mommy, the doggy and the bear are dancing!
Like you and daddy!
Give me that teddy. There. Oh.
I'm scared, Grandma.
Sarah?
Is that you?
You're so beautiful.
Let me look at you.
You know this is only a temporary situation here.
Come here.
Do I get a hug?
You know, there hasn't been a day since you were born...
that I don't think about you, baby.
I'm so happy to have my baby back.
Do we have to stay?
No, we do not have to stay.
What?
This is Sarah's birthday, and,
I thought it'd be nice for Sarah to meet her mother,
and... and now she has.
And, um, it's been a lovely visit. Oh, yeah.
Maybe we can do this again sometime.
You have a good day. Sarah, we got things to do. Let's go.
What things?
No, stop it!
Don't do that!
Oh! Oh, no. No more spinning for me. No.
Oh, no, no. Okay. No more spinning.
Oh, okay. Okay.
I want to go again. Let's go again.
No, sweetie. I think, you know, there's so much more to see here in the park.
Honey, let's go... let's go to the bean bag toss. Okay?
- Good idea. - I mean, that's-that's always exciting.
Bean bags? Yeah. You...
You-You toss the bean bag, and you get a big prize. Yeah.
Great idea. I want to go on the flying swings.
Let's go on the flying swings. You know, flying and swinging...
It's not, - You know, it's... Come on, please.
I don't think so. Really.
Actually, Grandma isn't a flying-swings kind of a person. I don't...
That's okay. Yeah?
Dad let me go by myself last year. And I was only nine.
Now I'm 10. Oh, you went... you went by yourself?
Let's go to the flying swings.
Are we gonna do it? Yeah.
- Okay. - By herself.
Look at her. Look at her.
Hi.
How come you never had kids? I mean, you're a natural.
Do you want the unabridged version or the CliffsNotes?
Whatever you can get through without crying.
Well, Eugene and I... So, we were obviously struggling actors.
And we took jobs wherever there was any kind of work.
And we kept telling ourselves that we just needed time to get our careers on solid footing.
And then, guess what? Suddenly, I don't know what happened.
We were 40 years old. Grandma!
- Oh, whoa. Hi! - Hi!
Anyway, that's, um...
That was around the time when I got pregnant, and...
Um, you know, we didn't plan it. It just kind of happened.
But I remember being really scared,
because I couldn't get it out of my mind...
how my parents used to argue all the time over how to raise me and my sister.
And... you know what the truth is?
I didn't think I could be a good mother.
But I never got to find out.
And... after I...
lost the baby,
that part of me, well, kind of shut down.
So... Woo-woo!
Oh, there she is. There. Oh, there.
Woo-woo, woo-woo.
Well, for the record, I think you'd be a great mom.
I thought I was a great dad. But I think I just got dealt a bad kid.
No such thing as a bad kid, Oren.
Trust me. This kid was nothing but grief from day one.
Dropped outta school, quit all his team sports.
The only thing he did really well is take drugs.
He didn't do anything right. No?
He did one thing right.
That was so much fun. It was.
Thank you, Oren.
You know, you can call me Grandpa.
Okay.
Will I ever see my mother again?
Well, honey, if you... if you want to.
Sure, yeah. I don't know.
Yeah, I think maybe it's best to, you know, hang out with Grandma and Grandpa right now.
You know, at least until we break your dad out of jail. Well... Well...
Well, how do we do that? Yeah, how do we do that?
The usual way. Lawyers, money, guns. Ooh.
Cool.
Can I stay with you tonight, Grandpa?
Well, um...
Yeah, he would love to. You didn't let me finish.
Good. Can I have a bologna sandwich?
Two slices of bologna, one slice of cheese, butter, no mayo.
You remembered. You got it.
Well, thank you very much. You've just been a really love...
That's not good. Okay, let me try it again.
All right, anyway...
Thank you very much. You've been a really lovely audience.
And, um, I just wondered.
Is there anybody here tonight from New Jersey?
Really? Really?
Well, you know, that's so interesting because my husband and I...
spent an entire summer in Montclair.
Stay away from dead people. Aaah! Oh, my God.
You scared the shit out of me.
Well, at least I didn't say that he died.
But he did die. And you know he died.
And the moment that thought enters your head, you start...
Okay, okay. Can we not talk about Eugene?
I'm sorry I brought it up.
But I don't understand why I have to talk in between songs.
Because people want to get to know you. People don't really want to...
And the more they know you, the more they like you.
You think? Absolutely.
I like you, and I don't like anybody.
Oh-Oh, I see. Is this one of your, backhanded compliments?
Take it however you want. I'm just stating a fact.
Yeah. And I love your songs.
Oh.
It wouldn't kill your act to throw in a couple more recent ones.
Okay. Anything else?
You know, well, since, you know, you bring it up...
You're a very attractive woman.
But some of your outfits, they just don't do you justice.
So... besides my song selection,
my patter and my physical appearance,
you like the act? I love it.
You know, I'm just getting eaten alive here. Do you wanna...
Would you like to... I got an idea.
- Why don't you come inside. - Sure.
Um, okay.
You know, it doesn't always have to be you who's part of a couple.
What? Yeah, when you talk to the audience,
you should talk about yourself, as an individual.
Oh, God, yeah.
As an individual, I'm not that interesting.
You're interesting to me.
Would you like something to drink?
Um, a thirst-quenching type of drink,
or a leading-to-something kind of drink?
- Would you like a glass of wine? - Sure.
Okay.
Honestly, I don't think an audience wants to hear me talk about my life.
Sure, they would. Tell me something about yourself that I would be surprised to hear.
Okay, well, I used to collect antique lipstick cases.
What else you got? See? I told you.
I mean, tell me about your... your first crush.
Oh, no, wait. Are you... Okay, are you asking me as you?
Or are you asking me as a way...
For Pete's sake, I'm just asking about your first crush.
Okay. All right.
You really want to hear it?
Oh, okay, well, I was, um... I was in seventh grade,
and I was, um, at Amy Robinson's party.
And there was this boy, Bobby Zadan, who was a total jerk.
But he asked me to dance.
And I don't know what happened.
It was like a... a switch flipped, and then...
and then suddenly I'm looking into these... these gorgeous blue eyes.
And we were dancing, and, yeah, he was stepping on my feet.
But I didn't care, 'cause...
I was in love.
You see that? Yeah.
You see that? I mean, that... that is really... That's interesting.
It is? It's really interesting.
Wh...
Wait.
Are we really... doing this?
I... I thought I was, but, you know, if-if you don't want to...
Well, no. I mean, it's... it's not really that.
It's-It's just... I mean...
I don't... I mean, it's been a while for me.
It's like I can't... No, I know. I know it's been a while for me too.
Yeah. No, I know. But that... Oh, is that because of your A.C.L.?
Yeah, it's totally rehabbed, I might add. That's good.
I just think it's important we don't think of this as anything more than, you know,
what it is.
What is it?
Well, we're both adults. We can separate this from attachment, and...
Yeah, I don't know about that. Oh, come on, come on. Sure, we're animals.
We are animals. It's like a basic need.
You know, it's like water or food.
You know what I'm talking about? Are you... Whoa. Whoa.
Okay. Of all the starts that any two people have ever started, including...
teenagers and monkeys, I mean, this is the worst start to what I consider...
- a potentially intimate relationship. - Come on. It's not that bad.
- Is it? - Oh, really?
I had a dog once that wouldn't leave my crotch alone,
and it was more romantic than this.
It was way more romantic... Oh, boy.
Well, it's...
Oh!
Oh, God!
Ooh!
Better. Better.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
You smell so good. I'm leaving my bra on.
Oh, that was great. It was...
Oh, you got a great body.
Listen, I should probably go. You know, Sarah's all alone over there.
No!
It-It-It was great.
You were great. You know?
I mean, the whole thing.
It was great. Oh, shit.
Morning. If you say so.
You've been around Oren too much.
- Why you say that? - I don't know, you just seem...
No, I seem what? What do I seem?
Nothing. Have a good day.
I'm fine, by the way, Kyle. Fine. Thank you. Oh. Okay.
Yeah. Sorry.
- Beautiful day? - Oh, my God.
How dare you. I told you I had to get back to Sarah.
You told me two seconds after we finished.
It was like an extension of your orgasm.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I... You left me crying in the bathroom.
What were you thinking? I was thinking, "She's crying in the bathroom,
and I should probably leave." You're unbelievable. You're unbelievable.
Do you know that was the first time I've had sex in almost four years?
Okay, I understand. I'm sorry.
I promise, I'll do better the next time.
Next time? Are you nuts?
First of all, there's not going to be a next time.
- There's a better chance of that than... - Hi, Grandma.
Hi, Grandpa. Grandma, are you okay?
Well, she's fine. She's fine, sweetie...
See, your-your-your Grandma and your Grandpa did...
an unfortunate thing last night.
I mean, the thing itself was... was not unfortunate.
But the aftermath of the thing... Jesus!
Jesus. Can I go down to the dock?
Yes, yes, please go down, and-and just make sure we can see you.
Oh. Better chance than what?
What? You were saying...
there's a better chance that something would happen...
than there is that you and I would try a...
Unbelievable! You've got to be kidding me.
I'm just looking for clarification.
I mean, wow. It's unbelievable.
Hey, Little, you got a visitor.
Over there.
David Shaw.
Who are you?
I'm your lawyer.
I've been retained by your father to file an appeal of your sentence.
We're on solid ground here.
With any luck, you'll be out in no time.
Who leaves an empty doughnut box?
You eat the last doughnut, you throw the box away.
It's just common courtesy.
I think your gardener stopped by.
He looked hungry, so I gave him the last one.
He wants more money. I'm trying to avoid him.
Can I talk to you for a second?
What's the matter?
I messed up.
I need a woman's perspective, and you're the closest thing to it. So I...
You always could charm me.
I slept with Leah. Whoa. You did mess up.
Well, the sex was actually pretty good, but...
But you left immediately after, right?
How'd you know that? You think you invented men being assholes?
Wh-Wh-What do I do? I... That depends.
Are you looking to going back to the way things were before? No.
Good, 'cause that's impossible.
You have to understand she's very emotional.
Give her some time, let her calm down, then beg.
Although why she would give you a second chance...
Why does cancer kill good people, and you're still alive?
Careful. I'm the only friend you've got.
I might have found somebody else who likes me, so you can die now.
Who in God's name would be that stupid?
My granddaughter.
How do they know how to do this? Well, its nature.
It's how baby turtles know how to run into the ocean after they've been born.
And I guess it's how bees know how to make a hive.
Nature's amazing. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
We should film it. That's such a great idea.
Too bad we don't have a camera though.
What... Oh, no. Yeah, you do.
I do, don't I?
We can film a little bit of it each day.
Then we can download it all to your computer.
Then we can get an editing app.
Then we can make a movie.
Do you really know how to do all this? No, but I can figure it out.
Nature is amazing.
What do you want?
Grandpa, come in. We're making a movie.
Oh, look at that. Caterpillars crawling on twigs.
- That is some plot. - It's a science project.
We're gonna film the metamorphosis. That's terrific.
Is there any reason that you're here?
I got you an audition for a new job, paying 1,500 a week.
Look at this one. Well, you see, he's already started his cocoon.
Wait a second. So, you got me an audition without even telling me about it?
- I'm telling you now. - No, I know, but you don't seem to understand.
I mean, I have to get ready. I gotta...
I gotta find, you know, an accompanist, and I gotta pick a song...
- You better get a move on. - Oh, okay. I better make some calls.
Sarah, could I have the camera? Okay, thank you. Thank you.
I suppose this is your way of smoothing things over?
No. No, no. This isn't personal. This is strictly business...
- between you and your agent. - Well, that's good.
Because on a personal level, I consider you a disgusting pig.
I guess that's a step up from being an asshole.
Artie, it's Leah.
Yes, well, I need a big favor.
Excuse me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Is there any particular song or style that you would like, because...
Whatever works for you. Okay.
All right. Artie? Do the Bonnie Raitt.
Two-bar intro. Two-bar. Thank you. Thanks.
Okay.
♪ People are talking, talking 'bout people ♪
The way you described her,
I expected someone considerably younger.
Well, what she lacks in curb appeal,
she makes up for in historic charm.
She slept with Elvis.
Really?
♪ We stand just a little too close ♪
Nice voice.
But a little soft.
What do you say 1,250 a week and we got a deal. Enjoy the rest of this song.
Because this is the last time you're gonna hear it.
You're bustin' my balls. What are you talking about? We had a deal for 1,500.
♪ Let's give them something to talk about ♪
♪ How about love, love, love? ♪♪
Could she start Thursday?
You were great. You were great. Oh.
Stop it, Artie. Oh, my God, they...
That-That run you had in the second chorus...
was just, as the kids say, "cra."
No, no, no. Did you... What does "cra" mean?
Cra-zy, cra-zy. Cra-zy? Oh, okay.
I'm gonna go with that. All right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
And thank you so much. Please. Oh, I had a great time.
No, I had fun. What you did for me? Aw.
Artie, you are a truly... a stand-up guy. Okay? I owe you. Yay.
Hey, get yourself a new toup. It's on me.
Artie.
Thanks again. Oh, God. Okay.
Okay. I just want to say one thing to you.
Thank you. Thank you for getting me this audition.
It means a lot to me. Please, come on. It's your talent.
You know, Oren. You can be surprisingly decent at times.
- Well, yeah. - You know...
I was thinking about that night and...
and I-I agree it-it was...
it was really unfortunate for the evening to end that way.
And I take full responsibility. Oh, good, because it was your fault.
Didn't I just say that? Well...
And I was wondering if there was some, you know,
pathway to a do-over.
A do-over? Even teenagers and monkeys get a second chance.
To what end?
Well, you know, I just thought... You thought what?
Oh, you thought that we could,
What do the kids call it? We could have a...
Oh, a hook up? Is that what you thought?
No. No, no.
Look, Oren, I don't do casual sex.
No, I never could.
Even way back, back in the day, way back in Woodstock.
And everybody was talking about free love.
"How cool, how groovy, how everything."
But I couldn't do it. Even then, I knew that...
love always comes with a price.
Well, perhaps the choice of the word "do-over" was ill-advised.
Yeah.
Look.
Why don't we just take this conversation...
as you, you know, trying to get into my good graces...
and me being only too happy to let that happen.
Okay. I mean, less than I hoped for but more than I expected.
Okay. All right.
You're ready for the big move?
I guess so.
I'm gonna miss you, Grandma. Oh, I'm gonna miss you.
Oh, for cryin' out loud. She's not joining the army.
You're gonna be 20 feet away from each other. No, but it's not the same.
I love having Sarah here, and I'm gonna miss watching her sleep.
Well, you can come next door. You can watch her sleep all you want.
You watch me sleep? Yeah, because you are a wonder, that's why.
And, you know, maybe when I'm not working, we can spend the night together.
Yeah, I love cuddling. Look, I hate to break up this lovefest here.
But you and I, sweetheart, we've got business to discuss. Bye. Bye, bye, bye.
Now, what is your favorite color? What?
For your room. The painters are coming.
You can pick any color you want.
Purple. No, that's no good. That's bad for rentals.
What's your next favorite?
Pink. Pink?
Pink is too... You know, it's just too pink.
Yellow? Yellow reminds me of puke, you know.
Wait a minute, got an idea.
Ready? Ready.
♪ Ta-da ♪
It's perfect.
- I love you, Grandpa. - I love you, sweetheart. I love you.
Did Oren tell you that he hired a lawyer to appeal Luke's sentence?
Doesn't surprise me.
It surprised Luke.
I stopped by to see him yesterday.
He hadn't even talked to his dad.
That doesn't surprise me either.
Oren is different from you and me.
Well, for me, Grandma, the two of you are peas in a pod.
Blow me. I love you like family.
Mow his lawn and leave him the hell alone.
Oh, my God.
He's stalking Oren for a shakedown.
Is Mr. Little here?
- Mario Reyes? - Yes.
- This is my wife, Selena. - Hi.
This is Mario Reyes.
He won the Cy Young last year.
We just got him as a free agent from the Rangers.
So he's not a gardener?
He just signed $175 million contract with the Mets.
Would you like another doughnut?
♪ Up on Cripple Creek, she sends me ♪
♪ If I spring a leak, she mends me ♪
♪ I don't have to speak, she defends me ♪
What are you doin' here? How'd you get out?
Come on, get in here.
Come on, Paint. Okay, come on.
Come on. Come on, boy.
Good boy. Good boy. Yeah, good boy.
Jesus, I leave here for half an hour, and...
Sarah! You left the Slip'N Slide on!
- What the hell's... - Grandpa!
Kennedy's having her baby. Hurry, she needs help.
- Oh, God! - Oh, my God.
- What are you doing? - Having my baby.
- No, you can't do that! - It's not up to me!
- Sarah, please, call 911. - I called 911.
Why couldn't you do this in your apartment?
I couldn't make it up the stairs!
Leah! Get in here, goddamn it!
She went shopping. She went shopping?
See, this is what happens when you have sex. I have to push!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no pushing.
I need to push! I have to push!
Sarah, please, just go into the purple room.
Oren! Oren, do something!
Okay! Okay.
I... I'm gonna wash up.
O-ren! Oren!
I'm coming. I'm coming. Just keep it in there.
Keep it in there.
Just keep it in there.
Okay. I'm coming. I'm coming.
Oh, God.
All right. Okay, listen.
I'm gonna lift up your dress now.
- Okay? - Oh, I don't want an epidural.
- You've got underpants on. - Take 'em off!
I'm not gonna look. Just look.
No, this is okay. It's better. Come on, I want you to look.
- No, no, no, no. I won't look. - Look, I got a baby that needs you to look!
Okay. I'm looking.
Oh, shit. What?
- There's a head in your vagina. - Oh, my God!
Get it out of there.
Get it out of there. Oh, my God.
Oh, thank God.
Get over here. Get over... There's a baby.
I can't do this. Please, help me out.
You're fine. You're fine, Oren. You're fine.
You're sure? I don't know. I'm thinking... You do it. You do it.
No! Oren, don't leave! Okay.
Okay, I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving. Cradle the head!
- I'm not leaving. - Cradle the head.
Now, listen to me, Kennedy. One more push. One more.
Go on, push! Harder.
Oh, okay, Kennedy, good.
Oh! Oh! It's a boy!
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God. It's a boy. - Look at that. That wasn't so bad.
- He's not breathing, Oren. - What?
He's not crying, Oren. Make him cry!
Pat his backside. Pat him on the back.
Pat him... Pat him harder, Oren.
- Pat him hard... - Breathe!
You got him.
Yeah, I can make anybody cry. Here. Look at that.
You want this?
Yeah, Kennedy. Oh, oh. You did it.
Thank you, Oren. You're beautiful.
No problem. Sarah, come out!
- Perfect in every way. - It's so little.
Oh, he didn't feel little. Hey, baby, I'm here.
- Kennedy. Oh... - Ray.
It's a boy!
Oren delivered him.
I think he was comin' out on his own. I just more or less caught him.
Thanks, Oren.
- Ma'am, are you okay? - I'm fine.
We can help with the umbilical cord.
Oh, yes.
You did great. Oren Little. Speak.
Hi, Claire.
Nothing. Just facilitating the miracle of life.
How about you?
Are you okay?
I just sold my house.
Whoa.
Grandpa?
Grandma's going to work. She looks sad.
Leah!
I like the new look.
Thank you.
Come on, sweetie.
Thank you so much.
How'd it go tonight?
It went fine.
Did you do the, Bonnie Raitt song?
Yeah, I did. I did the Bonnie Raitt song, yeah.
When are you leaving?
Soon as Luke gets out. Um, day after tomorrow.
- Where will you go? - I got a place up in Vermont.
Sarah Beth and I, you know, we talked about retiring there.
Yeah. That sounds really nice.
It's quiet.
- Oh, yeah. It's all worked out good. - Good.
- You don't need an agent anymore? — No.
Sarah gets her father back, and,
you all get to stay here in Little Shangri-La.
I'm gonna miss you.
I'll miss you too, Leah.
Well, I guess I gotta go back inside. So...
Are you sure you don't want to use some financing? Mortgage?
Interest rates on Super Jumbos these days are great.
We just want to own this house.
Cash is... is okay? Cash is fine.
Yes.
How old are your kids?
Um, Roberto is two. Maria, five. J.J., seven. And Victor is almost nine.
My Luke was, three when we moved here.
And how many years ago is that?
32.
Our children will love it here, Oren.
We will love your home for you.
We're nearly done here.
You will always be welcomed back.
The next song has, a very special meaning to me.
When I was 17, and, um...
Can you hear... This song. I love this song.
It was playing when I realized that I was in love...
for the first time in my life.
I was really in love.
And you know how powerful that first love is.
You just think...
You just think you're never gonna have those feelings for anybody else.
For the road.
Forty-four years, Claire.
You look exactly the same.
You know, I once heard someone say that...
every hello is just a good-bye waiting to happen.
See, it's shit like that that makes people sound stupid.
Good luck, Oren.
But sometimes, life outlives love.
I never thought that I'd ever fall in love again.
But... Look at me. Here I am.
What's the matter, right?
I'm still... singing this song...
and still dreaming...
of love.
♪ The shadow of your smile ♪
♪ When you are gone ♪
♪ Will color all my dreams ♪
♪ And light the dawn ♪
♪ Look into my eyes ♪
♪ And you will see ♪
♪ All the lovely things you are to me ♪
Why'd you do all this?
You're my son.
♪ Our wistful little star ♪
♪ Was far too high ♪
♪ A teardrop kissed your lips ♪
♪ And so did I ♪
Daddy! ♪ Now ♪
Oh, God. Oh.
♪ Remember spring ♪
♪ And all the joy that love can bring ♪
Hey, S.B.
I just wanted to say good-bye.
♪ I will be ♪
♪ Remembering ♪
♪ The shadow ♪
♪ Of ♪
♪ Your smile ♪
Every time.
Thank you. Oh, my goodness. Every time.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
So I noticed the crying has crept back into the act.
Well, at least I almost got through the song.
I thought you were gonna leave without saying good-bye.
Yeah, well, I... I did try, but...
it didn't feel right, it...
Look how human you're becoming, Oren.
Well, not as human as you might think.
I had no problem with the not-saying-good-bye part.
You know, but a few miles outside of town,
I discovered that I had a big problem...
with the leaving part.
Why might that be?
I think you've got some idea.
If it's what I think it is,
you're gonna have to say it.
I couldn't live next door to you as a friend.
I don't wanna be your friend.
I don't wanna be in your good graces.
I wanna be with you.
Oh.
- Would you like a ride home? - Oh, yes.
Um, of course you know that if we do this,
you have to spend the whole night.
Oh, really?
Every night.
Oh, geez. I should have thought this whole thing through.
How do caterpillars just know how to make a cocoon?
It's called nature.
Honey... Oh, I love the music.
- It was Dad's idea. - He's very talented.
- How would you know? - Well, that's what I heard.
♪ I've looked at life that way ♪
Look at that. Oh, my gosh.
How did you do that?
- There's an app that creates time-lapse photography. - I'm sure there is.
Oh, Oren, look, look, look. Look, Oren, look.
It's a butterfly.
♪ I've looked at life from both sides now ♪
♪ From win and lose, and still somehow ♪
♪ It's life's illusions I recall ♪
♪ I really don't know life ♪
♪ At all ♪♪