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Finn: YES!
I CLEARED LEVEL 17!
HEY, FINN, PRESS PAUSE FOR A BIT, WHY DON'T YOU, KIDDO?
BUT THIS IS A MEGA-BOSS BATTLE.
Curtis: WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT SNOW?
NEVER GOT THAT IN CALIFORNIA. THAT'S FOR SURE.
YOU KNOW, GUYS, I HAVE SEEN CHRISTMAS BEFORE,
BUT THIS IS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS.
MM-HMM.
IN THE FROZEN TUNDRA OF "DRAGONS AND WARRIORS,"
THERE ARE ICE SERPENTS THAT SPEW FROST VENOM.
Catherine: LET'S JUST KEEP IT IN THE REAL WORLD, OKAY, KIDDO?
YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT HERE. I PROMISE.
[ CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY, LAUGHING ]
FINN, NO MORE SCREEN TIME TILL WE'RE AT THE NEW HOUSE.
I'M SERIOUS.
[ GUNFIRE ]
TURN IT OFF! Finn: FINE.
Curtis: OKAY, GUYS. WELCOME HOME.
[ GROANS ]
[ SIGHS ]
WHOO!
WELL? [ CHUCKLES ] WOW. WOW.
OH, BOY.
UM, DAD? WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S SUPER CREEPY.
OH, COME ON, BUDDY. DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
IT'S NOT CREEPY. IT'S GREAT.
IT IS GREAT, HONEY. MWAH!
COME ON. WAIT TILL YOU SEE INSIDE.
YEAH.
Curtis: GUYS! COME ON!
[ LAUGHS ]
[ SIGHS ] HON, YOU DONE GOOD.
BOY, IT'S GONNA BE SO HOMEY
ONCE WE GET ALL OUR STUFF MOVED IN.
LOOK AT ALL THIS SPACE! [ CHUCKLES ]
Alexis: HOW'D WE EVEN AFFORD IT?
DID SOMEBODY DIE IN HERE OR SOMETHING?
Catherine: ALEXIS.
I'M SERIOUS.
PEOPLE GET REALLY GOOD DEALS
IF THEY FIND, LIKE, A DEAD BODY IN THE BASEMENT.
[ SCOFFS ] NOBODY DIED! WE GOT A GOOD DEAL.
PEOPLE MOVED OUT, AND WE'RE MOVING IN.
MAYBE IT'S HAUNTED.
PROBABLY BUILT ON AN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND OR SOMETHING.
IF WE DIG IN THE BACKYARD, I BET WE'LL FIND BONES.
ALEXIS, PLEASE.
SHE'S JUST PULLING YOUR CHAIN, BUDDY. [ DOOR HINGES CREAK ]
MOM, WHAT WAS THAT?! DID YOU HEAR THAT?! WAS THAT A GHOST?!
Catherine: NO, IT'S A REALTOR.
Gabby: HELLO, BAXTERS! HI!
I WAS JUST PUTTING THE FINISHING TOUCHES
ON THIS LITTLE HOUSEWARMING GIFT.
WOW. THANK YOU. OOH.
OH, AND YOU MUST BE THE WEE ONES.
YEAH. THAT'S THE WEE ONES.
WELCOME TO MAINE.
Catherine: THEY'RE NOT VERY GOOD WITH REAL PEOPLE.
THEY'RE BETTER WITH SPACE ROBOTS
AND CELLPHONES AND THINGS. [ LAUGHS ]
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT HERE. I GUARANTEE IT.
DOES THAT MEAN YOU'LL TAKE THIS HOUSE BACK
IF WE HATE IT?
[ LAUGHS ]
THEY'RE JUST SO PRECIOUS, AREN'T THEY? OH, YEAH.
THEY'RE PRECIOUS. WELL, CATHERINE, HERE ARE THE KEYS.
OH, THANK YOU.
AND IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS... OKAY.
[ LAUGHS ] I HAVE A QUESTION.
OH, WHAT IS IT, HONEY?
IS THIS HOUSE HAUNTED?
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] HAUNTED?
DON'T BE SILLY.
IT JUST HAS... PERSONALITY.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
[ SIGHS ]
WELCOME, MR. HUGHES.
NICE RIDE.
I FEEL LIKE WE'RE GOING TO THE PROM OR SOMETHING.
[ CHUCKLES ]
IS THIS THE BEST WE COULD DO?
HUGHES, THIS IS JESSICA.
SHE'S HANDLING THE SECURITY AND SURVEILLANCE.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
LET'S GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT, SHALL WE?
THIS HERE IS OUR NEXT TARGET.
A CREEPY OLD HOUSE?
NOT JUST ANY CREEPY OLD HOUSE, MY DEAR GIRL.
THAT CREEPY OLD HOUSE ONCE BELONGED TO JIMMY GRAVANO,
A NOTORIOUS BOOTLEGGER.
THANK YOU.
WE'RE STEALING BOOTS? BOOTLEGGING.
HE SMUGGLED IN ALCOHOL WHEN IT WAS AGAINST THE LAW
IN THE 1920s.
BOOTS, BOOZE, I DON'T CARE...
JUST AS LONG AS I GET PAID.
AH.
WELL, JIMMY "DEAD LEG" GRAVANO WAS KNOWN FOR TWO THINGS.
ONE, HIS BOOTLEGGED MOONSHINE,
AND, TWO, HE WAS THE PREVIOUS OWNER
OF A PRICELESS WORK OF ART... EDVARD MUNCH'S "THE WIDOW."
OH, GOD, SINCLAIR, NOT AGAIN.
I HAVE FINALLY FOUND HER.
YOU SAY THAT EVERY TIME!
WHEN WE BROKE INTO THE BOSTON MUSEUM.
WHEN WE BROKE INTO THE BANK OF LONDON.
WHEN WE BROKE INTO THAT LLAMA FARM IN PERU.
SOUNDS LIKE A WILD GOOSE CHASE TO ME. I'M OUT.
IT'S WORTH $85 MILLION.
"I'M IN," IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.
I'M IN. AH. GOOD.
WELL, I THINK WE'VE FOUND OURSELF A SAFE-CRACKER.
YEAH.
[ CRYING ]
FOR GOODNESS' SAKE. AM I MISSING SOMETHING?
AGAINST MY ADVICE,
SHE GOT ROMANTICALLY ENTANGLED WITH OUR LAST SAFE-CRACKER.
OF COURSE, IT ENDED PREDICTABLY.
NOW, LOOK, THIS HOUSE JUST WENT ON THE MARKET.
IF WE HURRY, WE CAN GET INSIDE
BEFORE ANYONE EVEN MOVES IN.
Curtis: [ British accent ] MRS. CATHERINE BAXTER.
LOOK WHAT THE MAILMAN HATH BROUGHT. HUH.
YOU GET INTO HOGWARTS OR SOMETHING?
OH!
IT'S AN INVITATION TO A HOLIDAY PARTY THIS WEEKEND
AT MY NEW BOSS'S PLACE.
AND WHEN I SAY, "PLACE," I MEAN "PRIVATE MOUNTAIN."
OH, WOW!
LOOK AT THAT!
EGGNOG. ELVES. SANTA. OH, THE KIDS WILL LOVE THIS!
[ MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH HEADPHONES, KNOCK ON DOOR ]
HEY, SWEETHEART.
LOOK WHAT I FOUND.
YOUR LITTLE-POP-STAR SINGING MACHINE, REMEMBER?
I HAVEN'T PLAYED WITH THAT THING SINCE I WAS A KID.
♪ I LOVE YOU, DADDY ♪
♪ YOU'RE SO ANNOYING ♪
♪ GET OUT OF MY ROOM! ♪ [ LAUGHS ]
[ FEEDBACK SQUEALS ]
WELL...
HEY, UH, YOU WANT TO COME ON DOWNSTAIRS
AND HELP YOUR MOM AND ME UNPACK?
I'D RATHER DIE. PERFECT.
HAVE A GOOD ONE.
Finn: TAKE THAT, OVERKILL!
[ LAUGHS ]
COME ON, COME ON! [ GROANS ]
HEY, BUDDY.
OH, GAMES ALREADY?
I WAS KIND OF HOPING YOU MIGHT WANT TO
EXPLORE THE NEW HOUSE WITH ME, HUH?
WHAT DO YOU THINK? CAPTAIN OVERKILL IS ONLINE NOW.
SORRY... YOU'RE PLAYING ANOTHER KID?
YEAH. ONLINE.
WE PLAY TOGETHER ALL THE TIME.
IT'S COOL. HE'S MY FRIEND.
WELL, HAVE YOU EVER MET THIS FRIEND, LIKE IN REAL LIFE?
NO. BUT HE'S YOUR FRIEND?
WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM?
HE PREFERS PULSE GRENADES.
YEAH. WHO DOESN'T?
DUDE, HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED MAKING SOME REAL FRIENDS?
WHY?
BUDDY, YOU GOT TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE ONCE IN A WHILE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? TRY SOMETHING NEW, RIGHT?
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD ONCE IN A WHILE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
OH, MAN!
PULE GRENADES! HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THAT?
OKAY, OFF. THAT'S IT.
NO MORE GAMES UNTIL YOU HELP MOM AND ME UNPACK, OKAY?
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. LET'S GO.
COMING!
DONE! DO YOU WANT ME TO DO THE GLASSES?
I'M GONNA SAY NO.
SMELL THAT? YEAH.
DON'T SMELL THAT IN CALIFORNIA, MY FRIEND.
THAT'S CALLED "AIR."
IT'S ALL AROUND THIS PLACE.
HEY, SMELLS GOOD.
HEY, THAT'S A TENT!
YEAH. MM-HMM.
HOW ABOUT AFTER WE GET SETTLED IN,
YOU AND I GO CAMPING, HUH?
TWO MEN, THE GREAT OUTDOORS... WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WELL, YOU HATE CAMPING.
YEAH, WELL, MAYBE BOTH OF US NEED TO, YOU KNOW,
TRY THINGS OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE.
HERE, YOU WANT TO TAKE THAT ONE DOWN TO THE BASEMENT, DUDE?
AND... BASEMENT.
I'M COMING WITH YOU. LET'S GO.
[ DOOR HINGES CREAKING ]
Alexis: PEOPLE GET REALLY GOOD DEALS
IF THEY FIND, LIKE, A DEAD BODY IN THE BASEMENT.
THE BASEMENT LEVEL IN "DRAGONS AND WARRIORS"
IS A PRISON FILLED WITH GHOSTS.
YEAH, WELL, THE BASEMENT IN REAL LIFE...
IS JUST A BASEMENT.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
AAH! AAH!
[ GRUNTS ]
"DEAD LEG IS WATCHING YOU."
[ ELECTRICITY HUMS, ZAPS ]
[ SCREAMS ]
Finn: MOM! MOM! MOM!
DOWNSTAIRS, THE LIGHT EXPLODED... FINN, BREATHE, HONEY.
CALM DOWN. ...AND THERE'S A SECRET DOOR WITH A SCARY MESSAGE
LIKE IT'S WARNING US! WE ARE TRYING TO UNPACK.
MOM, I KNOW, BUT... LOOK, FINN, GO OUTSIDE AND PLAY.
IT'LL BE GOOD FOR YOU.
T-THERE'S A BOY NEXT DOOR THAT YOU CAN PLAY WITH.
I DO NOT WANT TO MEET ANYONE NEW.
CAN I JUST GO UPSTAIRS AND PLAY MY GAME?
FINN, ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME YOU'RE AFRAID TO CROSS THE YARD AND MEET A FRIEND?
WHAT WOULD WE EVEN TALK ABOUT?
UH, ASK HIM WHAT HE LIKES TO DO FOR FUN.
OH, GUYS, I AM SO SORRY!
ARE YOU OKAY?
UM...
UH, SO, WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO FOR FUN AROUND HERE?
LOTS OF STUFF.
L-LIKE WHAT?
YOU KNOW, BUILD SNOWMEN, MAKE SNOWBALLS,
GO SNOW-SLEDDING,
DESIGN SNOW FORTS, GO SNOW SKIING,
MAKE SNOW ANGELS, START A SNOW AVALANCHE,
WEAR SNOW SHOES, PLAY "HIDE AND GO SNOW"...
DID I ALREADY SAY "MAKE SNOWBALLS"?
I GET IT.
UM, BUT ISN'T THERE ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE SNOW?
WE COULD MAKE SNOW CONES!
OH, WAIT...
MAYBE YOU COULD COME OVER TO MY PLACE FOR VIDEO GAMES.
I HAVE "ROBO INFANTRY 3."
IT HAS MULTI-PLAYER. YOU COULD BE A STRIKE ROBOT.
NUH-UH. NO WAY.
WHY NOT? YOUR HOUSE IS HAUNTED.
THAT'S WHY THE LAST PEOPLE MOVED OUT.
HAUNTED? YEAH.
DOORS CREAK OPEN.
LIGHTS FLASH ON AND OFF FOR NO REASON.
IT'S THE GHOST OF A GANGSTER WHO WAS MURDERED THERE.
HE WAS SMOTHERED TO DEATH IN HIS SLEEP.
NO WAY THAT'S REAL. THAT'S IMAGINARY.
OH, IT'S REAL.
MY MOM SAID IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO,
BUT LATE AT NIGHT,
THEY SAY YOU CAN STILL HEAR HIM...
WALKING AROUND, DRAGGING HIS DEFORMED LEG
ACROSS THE FLOOR,
LOOKING FOR REVENGE AGAINST ANYONE WHO TRIES TO SLEEP.
I'D LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH YOU, BUT I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE.
[ GULPS ]
"DEAD LEG IS WATCHING."
ALL RIGHT, BIG GUY, TURN OFF THE VIDEO GAME.
IT'S LIGHTS OUT.
BUT... BUT CAN'T I DO... CAN'T I DO ONE MORE LEVEL?
BUT... BUT... BUT... BUT... BUT... [ GROANS ]
HI, HON.
YOU LIKING YOUR NEW ROOM?
HELLO?
TAKE OFF YOUR HEADPHONES!
THEY'RE EARBUDS.
LOOK, I KNOW THIS MOVE HAS BEEN HARD ON YOU.
SO WHY ARE WE HERE, MOM?
IT'S MY NEW JOB. IT'S A BIG STEP FOR ME.
IT'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WORKING TOWARDS A LONG TIME.
BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE REASON WE DECIDED TO MOVE
WAS BECAUSE YOUR FATHER AND I DECIDED
THAT WE WANTED THE BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR BROTHER.
THE BEST, LIKE A 32-GIG TABLET COMPUTER
WITH A PINK-SEQUIN CASE?
THERE'S MORE TO THE HOLIDAYS THAN GIFTS.
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
[ SIGHS ] GREAT.
LAME CHRISTMAS.
OH, THAT WENT WELL.
[ CHUCKLES ]
OH, COME ON.
WE DID IT!
THE BAXTERS HAVE MOVED TO MAINE.
WE'RE MAINIANS!
MAINI... ACS.
WE'RE MINONIANS OR...
IS THIS A MISTAKE?
DID I UPROOT OUR FAMILY FOR A STUPID JOB
WHERE NO ONE WILL APPRECIATE ME?
SWEETHEART, WE APPRECIATE YOU.
YOU KNOW THAT.
AND YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE THE BEST V.P.
THESE MAINIACS HAVE EVER HAD.
[ SIGHS ]
I DRAGGED US ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY.
OUR CHILDREN HATE ME.
THAT'S NOT TRUE, AND YOU KNOW IT.
ALEXIS HATES ME.
THAT...
YEAH, OKAY, YEAH, SHE HATES YOU.
BUT SHE'S GONNA OUTGROW IT.
AND OUR SON SPENDS EVERY WAKING MINUTE
PLUGGED INTO VIDEO GAMES.
HE JUST NEEDS A LITTLE PUSH OUT OF THE NEST.
HE'S A LITTLE SHY, THAT'S ALL.
HE HAS NO REAL FRIENDS... FRIENDS HIS AGE,
FRIENDS WHO AREN'T SPACE MARINES.
[ CHUCKLES ] SCARED OF HIS OWN SHADOW.
HE'S JUST GOT AN OVERACTIVE IMAGINATION.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?
[ SIGHS ]
[ SCRAPING ]
Mason: ...WALKING AROUND, DRAGGING HIS DEFORMED LEG
ACROSS THE FLOOR,
LOOKING FOR REVENGE AGAINST ANYONE...
[ PANTING ]
I DON'T WANT TO ALARM YOU GUYS... AH!
...BUT MY ROOM IS TOTALLY HAUNTED BY A GHOST MURDERER!
AAH! WHAT? OH, BUDDY.
OKAY, LOOK, I UNDERSTAND.
CHANGE CAN BE SCARY.
MOVING IS NEVER, NEVER EASY.
[ Muffled ] THIS ISN'T ABOUT CHANGE, DAD.
THIS IS ABOUT SURVIVAL! I WANT TO SLEEP IN HERE.
THERE'S SAFETY IN NUMBERS.
OKAY. HONEYBUNCH...
AAH!
...YOU ARE TOO OLD TO BE AFRAID OF GHOSTS.
REAL LIFE IS HARD ENOUGH
WITHOUT MAKING UP STUFF TO BE AFRAID OF.
YOU HEARD THE BOSS, RIGHT?
I MEAN, BACK TO BED. YOU'LL BE FINE.
YOU'LL BOTH BE SINGING A DIFFERENT TUNE TOMORROW
IF AN EVIL GHOST SMOTHERS ME IN MY SLEEP.
BACK. TO. BED.
FINE.
BUT IF I HAVE TO SLEEP IN THERE ALL BY MYSELF,
I'M TAKING PRECAUTIONS.
ROBO SQUAD 256,
BRING SHIELDS UP AND SCANNERS ONLINE.
WEAPONS ARE CHARGED.
PERMISSION TO FIRE ON ALL GHOSTS.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
[ RUSTLING, CLANGING ]
[ DOOR OPENS ]
[ GASPING ]
[ DOOR HINGES CREAK ]
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
Curtis: AAH!
[ CRACKLING CONTINUES ]
[ GROANING ]
AAH! AAH!
GOTCHA! HEY! HEY!
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?!
I WAS TRYING TO CATCH THE GHOST.
OH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
[ Muffled ] WITH A STUN GUN AND A TENT?
I COULDN'T RULE OUT VAMPIRE OR ZOMBIE. OH!
YOU ARE NOT TO TOUCH THIS EVER!
BUT IF I PROVE THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED,
WE CAN MOVE BACK TO CALIFORNIA! YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
ALEXIS, DON'T CALL YOUR BROTHER AN IDIOT.
FINN, LISTEN...
YOU KNOW... YOU KNOW WHAT, HON? IT'S OKAY.
I GOT THIS. I GOT THIS.
IT'S OKAY. OKAY.
SORRY, DAD. [ GROANS ]
HEY, BUDDY.
OH, FINNIE, FINNIE, FINN.
THAT'S, UH, IMPRESSIVE.
UM... WHAT'S GOING ON?
I HEARD IT, DAD.
IT WAS... IT WAS REAL.
OKAY, WELL, UH, W-WHERE DO YOU HEAR IT?
WHERE... WHERE IS IT? SHUFFLING.
LIKE SOMEONE WAS DRAGGING THEIR DEAD LEG.
[ BRANCHES SCRAPING ]
OH, BUDDY, LOOK.
JUST A TREE BRANCH.
YOU CAN HEAR IT.
THAT'S ALL. [ CHUCKLES ]
OH. THAT'S ALL.
LOOK, DUDE, I KNOW THIS IS DIFFERENT THAN OUR OLD HOUSE,
BUT I PROMISE YOU, BUDDY,
YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF, OKAY?
[ SCRAPING CONTINUES ]
WE'RE TOO LATE.
SOMEBODY'S ALREADY MOVED IN.
WELL, THAT NEVER STOPPED ME BEFORE.
WE'LL JUST WAIT UNTIL THERE'S NO ONE HOME,
AND THEN... WE'LL STRIKE.
Catherine: NOW, EAT UP, EVERYBODY. WE HAVE A BIG DAY TODAY.
WE ARE PICKING OUT OUR CHRISTMAS TREE,
AND WE'RE GONNA GET NEW DECORATIONS AND DECK OUR NEW HALLS TOGETHER!
HOW DOES THAT SOUND? Finn: WE SHOULD PREPARE!
THE GHOST COULD COME BACK WHILE WE'RE OUT.
OH, LOOK, KIDDO.
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED FROM YOUR VIDEO GAME.
THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS GHOSTS,
ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMASTIME.
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST, GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT,
GHOST OF CHRISTMAS FUTURE, MARLEY'S GHOST...
WELL, THAT'S WHY WE'RE GETTING A TREE.
BECAUSE, UH, LITTLE-KNOWN FACT...
CHRISTMAS SPIRIT REPELS ALL GHOSTS. NOW, HURRY UP.
WE'RE GONNA LEAVE AS SOON AS YOUR FATHER IS DONE CLEARING THE DRIVEWAY.
THAT COULD BE A WHILE.
[ WHIRRING ] Curtis: COME ON!
[ GRUNTING ] I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO THIS!
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. I GOT IT.
OH! [ GROANS ]
COME ON, BABY. I GOT YOU.
WHO CAN LIVE LIKE THIS!?
AMATEUR.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, WEIRDO?
MAKING MORE GHOST TRAPS.
I'M GONNA PROVE THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED.
YOU'LL SEE.
THEN WE CAN ALL MOVE BACK HOME.
THERE IS NO GHOST.
I WAS JUST MESSING WITH YOU.
NO, THERE IS.
SO, WHAT'S YOUR BIG PLAN?
WRAP THE GHOST UP AND TUCK IT UNDER THE CHRISTMAS TREE?
LOOK, IF THE GHOST TRIES TO GET OUT OF THE BASEMENT
WHILE WE'RE GONE,
THIS WRAPPING PAPER WILL RIP...
PROOF THE GHOST IS REAL.
UM, WOULDN'T REAL GHOSTS JUST FLOAT THROUGH THE DOOR?
YOU'RE NOT HELPING.
[ Panting ] DRIVEWAY'S CLEAR.
YOU GUYS READY?
IT'S GONNA BE FUN.
♪ DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ 'TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ TROLL THE ANCIENT YULETIDE CAROL ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ FAST AWAY THE OLD YEAR PASSES ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ HAIL THE NEW, YE LADS AND LASSES ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ SING WE JOYOUS, ALL TOGETHER ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ HEEDLESS OF THE WIND AND WEATHER ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
MY CREW BACK HOME... WE'D ROLL IN WITH SHOTGUNS
AND MASKS OF PRESIDENTS AND EVERYTHING.
I'M USUALLY RONALD REAGAN.
WE ROLL IN, KICK THE DOOR DOWN LIKE,
"YO, GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR!
NOBODY MOVE!" Jessica: Shh!
"PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG OR I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!"
Sinclair: HOW FASCINATING.
Why don't you just shut up?
We're in.
Great.
Shh! Shh!
Shh!
OH, GINGERBREAD COOKIES!
OOH. [ SNIFFS ] MMM.
I LIKE TO EAT THE HEAD FIRST,
THEN AN ARM, THEN A LEG.
UNDERSTAND THIS... MY CREW IS EXPECTED
TO SLIP IN AND OUT OF OUR TARGETS UNDETECTED LIKE GHOSTS.
Yes.
GOTCHA, CHIEF.
OH, YOU "GOT ME," HUGHES, DID YOU? YOU REALLY GOT ME?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN DRAGGING IN DIRT AND SNOW LIKE THAT
OR EATING THEIR FRESHLY BAKED COOKIES!
AND I DON'T CARE WHETHER THEY'RE GINGERBREAD MEN
OR CHOCOLATE-COCONUT MACAROONS.
CHOCOLATE-COVERED COCONUT MACAROONS WERE STEVE'S FAVORITE.
OH, SHUT UP! BOTH OF YOU!
GOD! JUST LOOK.
THIS IS IMPORTANT.
THERE CAN BE NO MISTAKES.
OKAY. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW, LOOK.
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER.
COME ON. DEEP BREATH.
COME ON. [ BREATHES DEEPLY ]
NOW GO FIND YOURSELF A NICE WINDOW AND KEEP LOOK-OUT.
ALL RIGHT. YOU... COME WITH ME.
IS THAT A NO-GO ON A GLASS OF MILK?
NOW.
THERE'S NOTHING HERE.
YEAH, THAT'S JUST WHAT THE OLD BOOTLEGGER WANTS US TO THINK.
[ KNOCKING ]
OH. [ LAUGHS ]
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I EVEN AMAZE MYSELF.
COME ON, RONALD REAGAN. YOU'RE UP.
GET READY TO HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN.
OKAY. COME ON.
HOLD THIS. OKAY.
OH!
NOT USED TO DOING THIS WITHOUT THE MASK ON.
[ CLICKING ]
OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT? IT REMINDS ME OF... STEVE.
[ LATCH CLICKS ]
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
YEAH? MOVE! OH.
[ GRUNTS ]
[ GRUNTING CONTINUES ]
PULL!
[ LAUGHS ]
WHA... I... I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
MAYBE SOMEBODY BEAT US TO IT.
NO, IT'S... IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
ALL MY RESEARCH. ALL MY PLANNING.
ALL THE HISTORICAL CROSSCHECKING.
MY BELOVED GIGI SHOULD BE HERE.
YOUR BELOVED WHAT?
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A HOUSE TOGETHER LIKE THIS,
TO GROW OLD TOGETHER.
[ SNIFFLES ] BABY, I MISS YOU.
CAN YOU PLEASE JUST RETURN MY CALLS?
[ VEHICLE APPROACHES ]
OH, CRAP. I GOT TO GO.
PLEASE JUST CALL ME! OKAY.
CODE RED! CODE RED!
WHAT?
CODE RED! QUICK! WE'RE COMPROMISED!
GO! GO! GO!
[ GRUNTING ]
OKAY, GANG.
SO, YOUR MOM AND I WILL GET THE STRAPS.
FINN, YOU AND ALEXIS GET THE BACK.
AND...
MAKE SURE THAT THE WEIGHT IS BALANCED EVENLY.
Catherine: MM-HMM. OKAY, ALEXIS, FINN.
I'M GONNA COME TO YOU GUYS.
WHAT? THE GHOST!
[ SCREAMS ] TREE!
YES!
[ CRASH ]
AH! YAH!
Curtis: YOU'RE SURE YOU SAW SOMETHING?
YES! IT WAS RIGHT HERE BY THE WINDOW!
OKAY.
BUDDY, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE FABLE
"THE BOY WHO CRIED GHOST"?
IF MY SWEATER IS RUINED, YOU ARE SO DEAD!
WE SHOULD CHECK TO SEE IF ANYTHING'S OUT OF PLACE.
FINN, COME HERE.
LET'S CALM DOWN AND TALK ABOUT THIS.
Finn: COOKIES ARE MISSING!
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK!
THERE WERE SIX GINGERBREAD MEN HERE AT BREAKFAST.
NOW THERE ARE ONLY FOUR!
[ SCOFFS ] ALL THIS PROVES IS THAT SOMEONE DISOBEYED ME
WHEN I SAID NO GINGERBREAD MEN FOR BREAKFAST.
AND LOOK!
MY GHOST TRAP!
THE GHOST IS OUT! IT CAME FROM THE BASEMENT!
OKAY, THAT IS ACTUALLY CREEPY.
DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM.
HONEY, TELL YOUR SON THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
I THINK I JUST GOT THE CHILLS.
NOTHING CAME OUT OF THE BASEMENT!
ALL OF YOU ARE ACTING RIDICULOUS.
SHE'S RIGHT. OKAY, THERE'S NOTHING THERE.
AND I'M JUST GONNA CHECK IT OUT.
Alexis: DAD, WAIT.
OKAY, SO, I JUST GOT TO TURN THE LIGHT ON.
AND, UH...
OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
FRYING PAN, AND HERE WE GO.
OKAY. OKAY.
ALL'S COOL.
LOOKING GOOD.
OKAY.
[ SIGHS ] OKAY.
GUYS, LOOK, THERE'S NOBODY DOWN HERE!
THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
[ RUSTLING ] [ GASPS ]
[ SCRAPING ]
It's just a branch.
That's all. That's all.
Just a branch.
OH, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
WE CAN'T BE LATE.
LET'S GO!
HELLO?
FAMILY!
HELLO!
MY NEW BOSS IS BIG ON PUNCTUALITY.
LET'S GET A MOVE ON! YEAH, I DON'T KNOW.
I'M JUST TRYING TO DECIDE. IS THIS TIE TRYING TOO HARD?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY, HONEY.
ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT I ARRIVE ON TIME
WITH A HUSBAND WEARING PANTS.
PANTS?
WOW. WELL, LA-DEE-DA.
[ Snootily ] LA-DEE-DA.
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
[ MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH HEADPHONES ]
ALEXIS!
WE ARE LEAVING FOR THE CHRISTMAS PARTY
IN FIVE MINUTES!
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? I DID... MANY, MANY TIMES.
MY NEW BOSS, THE MOUNTAIN LODGE,
CAROLING, EGGNOG... ANY OF THAT RING A BELL?
[ GROANS ] WE HAD FUN YESTERDAY.
DO WE REALLY HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN?
YES...
[ MUSIC STOPS ] ...WE DO.
[ GUNFIRE ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'VE BEEN CALLING YOU.
TURN IT OFF.
JUST ONE MORE LEVEL, MOM. PLEASE, I'M SO CLOSE TO VICTORY!
OKAY? I'M ALMOST DONE. I'M ALMOST DONE.
THIS IS NOT OPEN FOR DISCUSSION.
MOM, NO! OH, MAN!
I WAS ABOUT TO DEMOLISH CAPTAIN OVERKILL'S ARMORED BASE!
WELL, I'M SURE THAT CAN BE DEMOLISHED TOMORROW.
NOW, HURRY UP. WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO WITHOUT ME?
LOOK, THIS IS NOT A ROOT CANAL OR SOMETHING.
IT'S A CHRISTMAS PARTY. THERE'LL BE OTHER KIDS THERE.
THAT I'LL HAVE TO TALK TO,
AND THEN THEY'LL ASK ME QUESTIONS, AND...
[ SIGHS ] WILL I HAVE TO SING?
LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE AFRAID OF NEW SITUATIONS,
BUT I REFUSE TO RAISE A KID WHO'S AFRAID OF EVERYTHING
THAT ISN'T ON A VIDEO SCREEN!
[ LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO IN DISTANCE ]
PUT ON YOUR SHOES. I'M GONNA MURDER YOUR SISTER.
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
WHAT'S GOING ON?!
SOMEBODY TOOK MY "HEADPHONES."
WHAT? [ MUSIC STOPS ]
THAT'S IT. FAMILY ANNOUNCEMENT!
WE ARE NOT MOVING BACK TO CALIFORNIA...
NOT BECAUSE OF GHOSTS,
NOT BECAUSE OF POORLY CONCEIVED ACTS OF TEENAGE REBELLION,
NOT EVER.
WE ARE ALL GOING TO LEARN TO LOVE THIS QUAINT LITTLE TOWN
AND THIS BIG CREEPY HOUSE BECAUSE WE HAVE TO, HMM?
IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU DRAGGED US
ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY!
NOW WE'VE GOT TO PARADE AROUND WITH SMILES ON OUR FACES
JUST SO THAT YOU DON'T FEEL GUILTY?
SO, WHAT? YOU'D RATHER... NOT GO?
STAY HOME? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? TOTALLY.
MAYBE I MIGHT ACTUALLY LIKE THIS PLACE
IF I WASN'T AROUND YOU GUYS ALL THE TIME.
OOH. OOH.
OKAY, GREAT!
YOU TWO CAN STAY HERE WHILE YOUR DAD AND I
HAVE ALL THE CHRISTMAS FUN WE CAN HANDLE.
SERIOUSLY?
YEAH. YOU WANT TO STAY HOME, STAY HOME!
OKAY. OKAY.
BUT THERE ARE SOME TERMS AND CONDITIONS.
FIRST OF ALL, ALEXIS, YOU ARE BABYSITTING FINN.
WAIT, HOLD ON. WORKS FOR ME.
AND NO VIDEO GAMES.
MOM!
NO GAMES. NO TV. NO MUSIC. NO PHONE.
YOU PROBABLY WANT TO LEAVE HER THE PHONE.
THESE ARE MY RULES. NO PHONE.
EMERGENCIES. THANK YOU, HONEY.
OKAY, PHONE FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY.
OKAY? OKAY, GREAT.
WELL, I AM GLAD EVERYONE GOT WHAT THEY WANTED.
GUYS...
HAVE FUN NOT BEING PART OF THIS FAMILY.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
HEY, GUYS, WE'LL CALL YOU FROM THE PARTY.
BEHAVE.
I DON'T THINK WE'VE EVER MADE MOM THAT MAD BEFORE.
WHATEVER.
SO, I GUESS IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.
[ SCOFFS ] YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN, WEIRDO.
YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, I LEAVE YOU ALONE.
THAT'S THE DEAL. WHAT?!
BUT SHE TOOK MY GAME CONTROLLER!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
I DON'T CARE. WHATEVER YOU WANT.
WE'RE HOME ALONE.
[ GARAGE DOOR CLOSES ]
HMM.
WONDER IF THEY SELL THEM INDIVIDUALLY.
HMM. WELL, ALL RIGHT.
JUST HAVE TO STABILIZE MY ANKLE.
PERFECT. GOOD.
WHO'S GIGI? NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
WHAT? WHO'S GIGI?
BACK BY THE SAFE, YOU SAID,
"MY BELOVED GIGI SHOULD BE HERE,"
SO I WANT TO KNOW... WHO ARE WE REALLY LOOKING FOR?
ARE WE LOOKING FOR A BODY?
[ SIGHS ]
COME HERE.
GIGI WAS MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER,
AND IF YOU MUST KNOW, SHE IS "THE WIDOW."
[ GASPS ]
YEAH.
OH.
EDVARD MUNCH WAS SO ENRAPTURED BY HER DOLEFUL BEAUTY
THAT HE PAINTED HER INTO A MASTERPIECE.
IN THE PAINTING, SHE'S SEEN SITTING WITH HER CHILDREN.
[ CHUCKLES ] HER FAMILY. MY FAMILY.
[ SCOFFS ]
THE CANVAS WAS STOLEN DECADES AGO,
BUT I'M GONNA FIND HER.
SHE BELONGS TO ME.
Curtis: YOU OKAY, SWEETIE?
SURE. WHY?
'CAUSE YOU'RE STILL HOLDING FINN'S CONTROLLER.
THANKS.
[ SIGHS ] I JUST... I DON'T KNOW.
I... I'M ALL FOR PUSHING FINN OUT OF THE NEST A BIT,
BUT SHOULD WE REALLY LEAVE HIM HOME ALONE IN A NEW PLACE?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
A FEW HOURS AWAY WILL BE NICE,
AND, HEY, MAYBE THEY'LL LEARN A THING OR TWO
ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY.
YEAH.
[ LAUGHING ]
♪ DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY ♪
I'M! JUMPING! ON! THE! SOFA!
I! DON'T! CARE!
♪ ...LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPAREL ♪
I'M EATING JUNK FOOD!
I DON'T CARE!
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
I BROKE A LAMP!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
AND I DON'T CARE.
THE NAME IS BAXTER.
FINN BAXTER.
KAPOW!
[ LAUGHS ]
[ HISSES ]
♪ ...LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ WHILE I TELL OF YULETIDE TREASURE ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
[ GRUNTS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
ROBO SQUAD 256,
ARE YOU READY TO INFILTRATE THE CORE?
YES, COMMANDER.
BOOSTERS ENGAGED IN THREE... TWO... ONE...
ATT-A-A-A-ACK!
WHOA.
AWESOME!
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA, LA-LA-LA-LA ♪
♪ FA-LA-LA-LA-LA... ♪
AWESOME!
WOW. LOOK AT THIS PARTY.
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
HI. NICE TO MEET YOU.
LOOK AT ALL THE SANTAS.
[ CHUCKLES ] LOOK AT THAT.
WELCOME, WELCOME!
OUR NEW ADDITION.
[ LAUGHS ]
THANK YOU.
SEE YOU LATER.
MR. CARSON, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING US.
BUT OF COURSE.
YOU'RE PART OF THE CARSON FAMILY NOW, HUH?
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] Photographer: OVER HERE, GUYS.
SMILE. WAIT A MINUTE!
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] OH, MY GOODNESS.
NOW, ALBERT, I DON'T PAY YOU TO LOAF ABOUT.
PLEASE GET OUR LOVELY NEW VICE PRESIDENT AN EGGNOG!
OH, NO, I-I'M SORRY.
THIS IS MY HUSBAND, CURTIS.
WHAT? I-I'M HER HUSBAND.
I'M CURTIS. HOW ARE YOU?
OH, MY GOD.
MY MISTAKE.
HE'S THE SPITTING IMAGE OF ALBERT, MY BUTLER.
NOW DECEASED.
OH, I'M SORRY.
OH, THE TIE IS THE SAME, TOO!
OH, I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE TIE.
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF TAKING ON THE ASSIGNMENT
OF MANSERVANT?
UH, WELL, I HADN'T THOUGHT, BUT I'M SURE I COULD.
AND YOU HAVE KIDS, TOO. SEVEN OF THEM!
UH, TWO.
OH, IT'S PROBABLY FOR THE BEST.
ALL THOSE CLUTCHING LITTLE HANDS.
[ GROANS ] WHERE ARE THE LITTLE TYKES?
OH, THEY'RE STILL ADJUSTING TO THE MOVE, YOU KNOW,
SO WE DECIDED TO LEAVE THEM AT HOME FOR THE EVENING.
GREAT! AH, THAT'S GREAT.
MORE "REINDEER-IN-A-BLANKET" FOR THE REST OF US, HUH?
[ LAUGHS ]
I'VE HIRED THE BEST REAL-BEARDED SANTAS IN THE COUNTRY
TO SERVE OUR COCKTAILS.
HERE'S ONE NOW. DIG IN.
[ BEEPING ]
[ CHUCKLES ] WHOA.
THIS TIME, YOU'RE GOING DOWN.
[ GUNFIRE ]
[ LAUGHS ]
YES!
[ ALARM BLARING ]
WHAT'S... WHAT'S HAPPENING? HEY! HEY!
WHAT'S GO... NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
NO, NOT THE BATTERIES.
COME ON, TURN ON. TURN ON!
[ GROANS ] OH, MY GOSH.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!
OH! NO!
OH, MY GOSH!
OKAY.
YES! YES!
OKAY. OKAY, NOW.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[ GROANS ]
NO!
[ BATTERY CLATTERING ]
[ CLATTERING STOPS ]
HI. SO, HOW'S IT GOING OVER THERE?
ALEXIS: All is quiet
WITH NO MUSIC OR TV.
I'M ACTUALLY READING.
[ LAUGHS ] SURE YOU ARE.
I am.
AN ARTICLE ABOUT LIPSTICK.
SO IT'S NOT "WAR AND PEACE,"
BUT, HEY, I'M TECHNICALLY READING IT.
OKAY. AND FINN?
HE'S DOWNSTAIRS PLAYING BOARD GAMES WITH THAT SNOW KID.
Oh, he is?
THAT'S GREAT!
HEY, IT'S REALLY SNOWING UP HERE.
ARE YOU GUYS WARM ENOUGH? YES.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL TO CHECK UP ON US EVERY FIVE MINUTES.
"THE PHONE IS FOR EMERGENCY USE ONLY."
Fair enough.
I'LL TEXT WHEN WE'RE HEADED BACK.
Love you. LOVE YOU. BYE.
Finn: NOW CAN YOU HELP ME?
IT WILL TAKE YOU 10 SECONDS.
OKAY.
I'LL GET YOUR DUMB BATTERY.
THEN I'M GONNA GO CHECK OUT THE MALL,
BUT YOU CAN'T TELL MOM I WENT OUT.
DEAL? DEAL.
[ SIGHS ]
[ CREAK ] WHAT WAS THAT!?
DON'T BE SUCH A CHICKEN.
[ GASPS ]
I GOT IT. LET'S GO!
WHY DO YOU THINK A GHOST LIVES DOWN HERE, ANYWAY?
'CAUSE I FOUND THE GHOST'S ROOM.
LOOK.
WHOA!
Finn: WHAT?! THIS WAS LOCKED!
I TRIED IT! A GHOST MUST'VE OPENED IT.
IF YOU'RE TRYING TO SCARE ME, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK.
[ SIGHS ]
IT PROBABLY ONLY LOOKS EMPTY.
IN "ROBO INFANTRY 2," YOU COULD FIND AMMO ROOMS
THAT LOOKED EMPTY,
BUT THEY WOULD HAVE A SECRET DOOR.
THIS ISN'T SOME STUPID VIDEO GAME, LOSER.
THERE'S NO SECRET DOOR.
SEE? [ THUD ]
HOLY COW! [ GASPS ]
DID I MENTION THAT THE SECRET ROOMS WERE OFTEN BOOBY TRAPPED?
COME ON.
[ ELECTRICITY CRACKLES ]
[ GASPS ] THIS IS TOTALLY COOL.
O-OKAY.
SO, UH, WELL, WE'VE SEEN IT.
LET'S GO.
TALK ABOUT A CREEPY FAMILY.
YEAH. WAIT, WAIT.
COME HERE.
COME AND LOOK AT THIS.
LOOK.
LOOK AT THE OLD WOMAN'S EYES.
I THINK... I THINK THEY'RE MOVING.
LIKE SHE'S WATCHING US.
NO. NO, SHE'S... SHE'S WATCHING YOU.
BOO! [ SCREAMING ]
[ SCREAMING CONTINUES ]
IT WAS A JOKE!
[ SCOFFS ]
OH.
WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
[ SIGHS ]
"TOUCH MY HOOCH AND REGRET IT.
DEAD LEG."
[ SIGHS ]
HUH? WHAT?
OH, CRAP!
[ DOOR LOCKS ]
UGH! OH, PHONE, PHONE, PHONE, PHONE.
[ SIGHS ] FINN!
I'M STUCK!
OPEN THE DOOR! FINN!
COME DOWN HERE!
FINN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?!
FINN!
CAN YOU HEAR ME?!
[ SCREAMING ]
[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE DITCH THIS SHINDIG?
I MEAN, IT'S GONNA TAKE US A WHILE
TO GET BACK DOWN THE MOUNTAIN IN THIS WEATHER.
SOUNDS GOOD. YEAH?
I WANT TO GET HOME BEFORE BEDTIME
IN CASE FINN IS SCARED.
I LOVE YOU. [ CHUCKLES ]
HERE YOU GO.
SO, YOU, MY DEAR, SAY YOUR GOODBYES.
Carson: EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE!
I WILL... OUT OF THE WAY.
UH, THERE'S GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS.
THE BAD NEWS IS THAT THIS LITTLE WINTER STORM
HAS PICKED UP, YOU KNOW?
AND ALL ROADS LEADING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN
WILL BE TEMPORARILY CLOSED.
WHAT? EXCUSE ME, SIR.
FOR HOW LONG?
GOOD QUESTION, CARLA.
OH, IT'S CATHERINE, ACTUALLY. [ CLEARS THROAT ]
FOR THOSE IN THE BACK, CARLA BAXTER, OUR NEW V.P...
[ APPLAUSE ]
...HAS ASKED HOW LONG WE EXPECT THE ROADS TO BE SHUT DOWN.
I HAVE NO IDEA.
[ INDISTINCT MURMURING ]
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS THERE'S PLENTY MORE ADULT EGGNOG,
ALL RIGHT?
GO GET THEM, SANTAS.
THE KIDS. [ CLEARS THROAT ]
I'M HERE!
HELLO! FINN, I'M DOWNSTAIRS!
[ SIGHS ] WHO BUILDS A HOUSE LIKE THIS?
THIS IS SO LAME.
NOW I'M TALKING TO MYSELF.
ALEXIS?
D-DID YOU LEAVE YET?
[ CELLPHONE VIBRATES ]
"GONNA BE STUCK HERE A WHILE.
"FROZEN PIZZA IN FREEZER.
MAKE SURE FINN IN BED BY 10:00 P.M."
WELL, A DEAL'S A DEAL.
[ CLICKING ]
OH. OKAY.
OKAY, WELL, I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO MAKE THE BEST OF IT.
YEAH. I'LL GET YOU AN EGGNOG.
Man: NOT THIS TIME!
[ LAUGHS ]
YOU'LL NEVER BEAT ME!
NO! YOU WERE OUT OF PULSE GRENADES!
[ BEEPING ]
[ SIREN WAILING ]
YES! [ CHUCKLES ]
YOU'VE BEATEN ME LIKE A MILLION TIMES.
HOW DO YOU ALWAYS DO IT?
IS THIS ANDY? Who's Andy?
WHOA. HOW OLD ARE YOU, DUDE? 10.
MAN, I THOUGHT YOU WERE THIS OTHER GUY I PLAY WITH.
IF I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE JUST A KID,
I WOULDN'T HAVE OVERKILLED YOU SO MANY TIMES.
SO WHAT IF I'M 10?
NO, YOU ROCK, DUDE. YOU'RE GOOD.
YOU JUST NEED TO LEARN TO CONSERVE YOUR AMMO.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD "CONSERVE" MEANS?
I'M 10. I'M NOT AN IDIOT.
RIGHT. RIGHT. SORRY. [ CHUCKLES ]
SO, HOW DID YOU GET SO GOOD? Practice.
YOU JUST GOT TO DEVOTE 10 TO 14 HOURS A DAY TO THE GAME,
YOU KNOW? PRIORITIES.
MY PARENTS ONLY LET ME PLAY FOR AN HOUR A DAY.
THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM RIGHT THERE.
I LIVE ALONE, SO...
YOU CAN PLAY VIDEO GAMES ALL DAY AND NIGHT
AND NO ONE EVER TELLS YOU TO CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM?
YEAH. [ LAUGHS ]
IT'S PRETTY MUCH THE BEST THING ABOUT GOING TO COLLEGE.
Sounds amazing.
SO, I ASKED FOR THE NEW "ROBO" EXPANSION PACK FOR CHRISTMAS.
WHAT DID YOU ASK FOR?
UH, I DON'T REALLY DO THE WHOLE CHRISTMAS THING
SINCE I DON'T LIVE WITH MY FOLKS ANYMORE.
SO, YOU'RE NOT GONNA VISIT THEM?
NAH. I DON'T REALLY HAVE, YOU KNOW, THE CASH TO BLOW
ON PLANE TICKETS RIGHT NOW ANYWAY.
SO YOU DON'T GET CHRISTMAS?
Oh, they'll send me something.
WELL, IF YOU'RE ALONE, IT'S NOT REALLY CHRISTMAS.
I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT BEFORE.
WELL, UH, I'LL KEEP YOU COMPANY.
WANT TO PLAY AGAIN?
SURE.
I'LL EVEN GIVE YOU SOME POINTERS.
[ SCRAPING, CLATTERING ]
UH-OH.
UH-OH WHAT? YOU GOT TO GO?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS?
FINN, I BELIEVE THIS PLANE OF EXISTENCE HAS MANY MYSTERIES.
ALL RIGHT, IT'S JUST A BRANCH.
JUST A BRANCH.
[ SIGHS ]
[ SCRAPING, CLATTERING CONTINUE ]
HUH?
DEAD LEG!
[ SCRAPING, CLATTERING CONTINUE ]
OKAY, THE PERIMETER'S CLEAR.
NO MOVEMENT. ALL GOOD. ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
I... I DON'T WANT TO ALARM YOU, BUT I THINK I JUST SAW SOMEONE
IN THAT WINDOW UPSTAIRS, BUT...
A FLICKERING OR, I DON'T KNOW, A SHADOW OR SOMETHING.
THIS GUY IN TOWN WAS TELLING ME THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED.
THE GANGSTER WHO STOLE YOUR GREAT GRANNY'S PICTURE...
HE GOT MURDERED IN THIS HOUSE.
YOU LEFT THAT PART OUT, DIDN'T YOU?
MAYBE HE DOESN'T WANT ANYONE TO TOUCH HIS PAINTING.
YOU KNOW, IF WE HAD SOME SAGE, WE COULD CLEANSE THE HOUSE OUT.
DON'T BE ABSURD.
I DON'T WANT TO UPSET SOME GHOST GANGSTER.
LOOK, WE'RE GOING IN. GHOST OR NO GHOST.
NOW, COME ON. LET'S GO GET YOUR TOOLS.
YOU, TOO. COME ON.
SIMON: Dude, can you still hear me?
Finn: IT'S THE GHOST. HE'S BACK.
DID YOU WATCH A SCARY MOVIE ON CABLE OR SOMETHING? WHAT? NO.
Whatever you do,
DO NOT STAY UP LATE AND WATCH R-RATED MOVIES.
IT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA,
BUT YOU CAN'T UN-SEE THAT STUFF, MAN.
I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
HIDING UNDER THE BLANKETS SOMETIMES WORKS.
You're not helping.
BE RIGHT BACK.
[ GASPS ]
I THOUGHT YOU SAID THEY WERE AT A CHRISTMAS PARTY!
IT'S THE GHOST! IT'S THE GHOST!
IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. OH, I KNOW WHAT IT IS.
IT'S JUST A SECURITY DEVICE... THAT'S ALL.
OR MAYBE THEY DIDN'T ALL GO TO THE PARTY.
OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
YOU KNOW, SANTA CLAUS, ELVES, EGGNOG.
I MEAN, PEOPLE IN SMALL TOWNS... THEY LOVE THAT KIND OF CRAP.
I DON'T KNOW. I'M GETTING A GHOSTY FEELING.
I THINK I'M FEELING IT, TOO.
LOOK, THERE ARE NO GHOSTS, YOU FOOLS.
I MEAN, GOD. LISTEN TO YOURSELVES.
COME ON.
[ SCRAPING, CLATTERING ]
I-I'M NOT WALKING INTO A HAUNTED HOUSE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
I'M NOT CRAZY.
I'M GETTING THESE CHILLS ON THE BACK OF MY NECK.
CODE RED! CODE RED!
COME BACK HERE!
COME BACK!
IT WORKED!
THE GHOST IS GONE!
Woman: [ In distance ] FINN!
WHAT'S THAT?
FINN!
ALEXIS?
A-ARE YOU HOME?
FINN!
MOM? DAD? FINN!
FINN! IT'S ME!
ALEXIS?
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
I'M STUCK IN THE BASEMENT.
IN THE SECRET ROOM?
YEAH, MORON, I'VE BEEN YELLING FOR YOU!
I'M IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT THE MALL.
I WISH I WERE AT THE MALL.
WHERE ARE MOM AND DAD?
THEY SENT A TEXT.
THEY'RE GONNA BE LATE. GREAT.
UGH. IT'S SO CREEPY DOWN HERE.
YOU GOT TO GET ME OUT... NOW.
OKAY.
[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]
[ GRUNTING ]
OKAY. OKAY, LET'S TRY THIS.
[ CLICKING ]
Okay.
[ GRUNTING ]
WHAT CUTS THROUGH A SAFE? WHAT CUTS THROUGH A SAFE?
OH, SHE CAN'T HEAR ME.
I'LL GET YOU OUT SOMEHOW. I PROMISE!
SHE STILL CAN'T HEAR ME.
HIYA, FINN.
MORE SNOW!
I SEE THAT.
WANT TO MAKE SNOWBALLS WITH ME?
I HAVE A SYSTEM TO MAKE THE PERFECT SNOWBALL.
I CAN'T RIGHT NOW. MY SISTER'S TRAPPED IN THE BASEMENT,
AND I HAVE TO BUY SUPPLIES TO BREAK HER OUT.
OH, COOL. SEE YOU LATER.
[ CASH REGISTER BEEPING ]
[ GRUNTING ]
SORRY. [ GRUNTS ]
Cashier: THAT IS $2,152.71.
HMM.
AND WHOM SHALL I MAKE THIS OUT TO?
WE ONLY TAKE PERSONAL CHECKS WITH A VALID DRIVER'S LICENSE.
AH, I MUST HAVE LEFT THAT IN MY OTHER PANTS.
[ COINS JINGLE ] WHAT CAN I GET...
FOR...
$1.68?
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
[ GRUNTS ]
OH, I'M SORRY.
BE CAREFUL, YOUNG MAN.
WHAT'S THE RUSH?
IS THERE A FIRE SOMEWHERE?
[ SCRAPING, CLATTERING ]
ONE AMERICANO. THANK YOU.
ONE PUMPKIN-MOCHA LATTE
WITH EXTRA WHIPPED CREAM.
THANKS. I'M STILL NOT GOING IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE, THOUGH.
WHAT'S IT GONNA TAKE FOR YOU TWO BOZOS
TO COMPLETE THE JOB YOU WERE EXPLICITLY HIRED TO DO?
THAT IS, BREAK INTO AN EMPTY HOUSE
AND STEAL A SIMPLE PAINTING.
PLEASE, DO TELL.
NO GHOST. MORE MONEY.
UH, YEAH, MORE MONEY.
[ Laughing ] MORE MONEY? OH, YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING!
WHAT... YOU... YOU DRAG IN FILTH AND CRUMBS INTO THE SCENE,
AND YOU... YOU BOTCHED THE LOOKOUT LIKE AN AMATEUR.
AND NOW YOU WANT A BIGGER SPLIT OF THE SPOILS?
OH, COME ON.
I BELIEVE YOU WANT YOUR GIGI BACK.
LOOK...
WE HAD A DEAL...
25% FOR YOU, 25% FOR DINGBAT HERE,
AND 50% FOR ME. YEAH?
WELL, THE DEAL'S CHANGED NOW SINCE THE GHOST.
50% FOR ME. 50% FOR JESSICA.
25% FOR YOU.
WHAT? LOOK...
WE'RE GONNA SPLIT IT THREE WAYS.
OTHERWISE, WE WALK, AND GIGI GOES BYE-BYE.
YOU ARE A HARD-HEARTED WOMAN.
WANT TO HELP ME FINISH MY SNOW FORT?
I CAN'T RIGHT NOW.
A TEAM OF ART THIEVES
IS PLANNING AN ASSAULT ON MY NEW HOUSE.
AND I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DEFEND IT.
OH, COOL. SEE YOU LATER.
[ SIGHS ]
REALLY?
Finn: ALEXIS!
THE HOUSE ISN'T HAUNTED.
WE'RE UNDER SIEGE!
IT'S BEING ROBBED!
THIS ISN'T ONE OF YOUR GAMES, FINN.
I KNOW I WAS WRONG ABOUT THE GHOST BEFORE,
BUT THERE ARE ART THIEVES, AND...
JUST STOP SCREWING AROUND
AND GET ME OUT OF HERE.
OR FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN.
[ BEEPING ]
WHAT'S UP, LITTLE MAN? NEED SOME MORE POINTERS?
THIEVES ARE ATTACKING MY HOUSE. I'M UNDER SIEGE!
UH, WHAT GAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? They're almost here.
HOW DO I STOP THEM FROM GETTING IN?
UH, SOUNDS LIKE A TOWER-DEFENSE GAME?
LIKE LEVEL 17 ON "ROBO INFANTRY 3"!
Exactly.
NOW, WHAT ARE YOUR CHARACTER'S SKILLS AND ABILITIES?
UM, I'M GOOD AT TRAPS. Excellent.
NOW, DON'T JUST SET ONE OR TWO.
THE KEY TO THESE TYPES OF GAMES...
YOU NEED TO STAGGER YOUR DEFENSES, OKAY?
I HAVE TO IDENTIFY THE WEAKNESS IN MY PERIMETER
AND SET DETERRENTS.
RIGHT, BUT TO REALLY WIN,
YOU NEED TRAPS THAT DEPLOY ON THEIR OWN.
LIKE YOUR PULSE GRENADES!
AH, YOU FIGURED OUT MY SECRET.
NOW, HOW MUCH AMMO DO YOU HAVE?
WELL, NONE.
ALL I COULD AFFORD WAS A SPOOL OF STRING.
I GOT TO GET THIS GAME. IT SOUNDS AWESOME.
UH, SO, THAT'S NOT A LOT TO WORK WITH.
I CAN USE MY ENVIRONMENT.
GREAT! YEAH!
UM, THAT'S HOW THESE GAMES USUALLY WORK.
YOU NEED TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX
AND FIND OTHER RESOURCES.
YEAH, I CAN DO THAT.
Yeah, I know you can, dude.
YOU'RE LIKE THE SMARTEST KID I KNOW.
You can figure out the specifics.
AND, HEY, IF YOU NEED ANY MORE POINTERS,
I'LL BE ONLINE FOR THE NEXT...
8 TO 10 YEARS, PROBABLY.
YOU KNOW WHAT MY DAD ALWAYS SAYS?
What?
"YOU GOT TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE ONCE IN A WHILE, BUDDY.
ENJOY THE REAL WORLD... IT'S THE BEST GAME THERE IS."
[ SCISSORS SNIP ]
UGH. [ COUGHS ]
THE ONLY THING TO BE AFRAID OF IN THIS HOUSE
IS ME.
[ SCRAPING, CLATTERING ]
Shh!
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
LOOK AT THIS.
YOU SEE? THE HOUSE IS HAUNTED.
THE GHOST KNOWS WE'RE COMING.
OH, REALLY?
UH, DID THE GHOST USE THAT BUCKET, TOO?
HE'S GOT A POINT.
COME ON, YOU TWO.
JUST FOCUS HERE.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE NOT A BUNCH OF TWO-BIT BANDITS.
WE'RE NOT GONNA BE STYMIED BY A SLIPPERY WALKWAY.
ALL RIGHT. FOLLOW ME.
OKAY.
ROLL-UP GARAGE DOORS... EASIEST KIND TO BREAK INTO.
GOOD.
HURRY UP.
IT'S STUCK ON SOMETHING.
Hughes: SOMETHING SUPERNATURAL?
OH, SHUT UP. GO HELP HER.
COME ON.
[ WHIMPERS ] GO ON.
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
COME ON.
[ BOTH SHOUT ]
STOP SCREWING AROUND. OHH.
JESSICA, CIRCLE THE PERIMETER OF THE HOUSE.
SEE IF THERE'S A WINDOW OPEN.
AND YOU, MR. PRESIDENT,
GET INTO THE GARAGE.
THE HOUSE HAS A MIND OF ITS OWN.
OH. UNLIKE SOMEONE I KNOW.
[ SIGHS ]
LAME.
[ GRUNTS ]
AAH! WHOA!
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Sinclair: ARE YOU IN?
[ GRUNTS ]
NOW GO 'ROUND AND OPEN THE FRONT DOOR.
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
AAH! STOP! STOP!
SINCLAIR! AAH!
[ SCREAMING, CLATTERING ]
[ SCREAMING AND CLATTERING STOP ]
[ Strained ] OUCH. OH...
[ CHUCKLES ]
I AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOST.
[ GRUNTS ]
COMING IN HANDY, RUDOLPH.
ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
PERFECT.
UGH.
UGH!
OKAY.
[ SIGHS ] GEEZ.
ALL RIGHT.
[ GRUNTS ]
OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?
[ GRUNTING ]
[ GASPS ] OH!
OH!
[ GRUNTS, SIGHS ]
THE HOUSE HAS GOT ME!
AH.
AAH!
[ Crying ] AAH!
GROSS!
[ DOORKNOB TURNS ]
[ DOOR HINGES SQUEAK ]
[ LIQUID DRIPPING ]
[ SIGHS ]
ART THIEVES?
AWESOME!
MY PERIMETER IS TOTALLY HOLDING UP!
HEY, UH, I'VE BEEN SEARCHING THE NET,
AND I CAN'T FIND WHATEVER GAME YOU'RE PLAYING.
THIS ISN'T A GAME.
THIS IS REAL. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO COOL.
RIGHT. AH. SORRY.
WAIT!
HOLD UP.
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE REALLY A 10-YEAR-OLD
WHO'S BEEN LEFT HOME ALL BY YOURSELF,
AND NOW REAL THIEVES ARE TRYING TO BREAK IN?
YEP.
AND MY SISTER'S TRAPPED IN THE BASEMENT RIGHT NOW,
SO I GOT TO GO.
Oh, my God. Wait.
I-I-I'VE GOT TO CALL THE COPS
OR... OR... OR YOUR PARENTS
OR, LIKE, JACK BAUER OR SOMETHING!
WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
I'M SORRY.
BUT I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GIVE OUT THAT INFORMATION.
YOU KNOW, STRANGER DANGER.
"STRANGER DANGER"?
THERE ARE PEOPLE TRYING TO INVADE YOUR HOME.
GOT TO GO!
SECOND WAVE.
FINN.
FINN!
Alexis: FINN! SIS!
MY DEFENSES ARE HOLDING.
YOU SAID THEY'RE ART THIEVES,
WHICH MEANS THEY'RE LOOKING FOR THE PAINTING,
WHICH MEANS THEY'RE COMING RIGHT TO ME.
YOU NEED TO CALL THE POLICE.
CALL MOM AND DAD.
CALL AN ADULT... ANY ADULT.
DO YOU HEAR ME?
YOUR PHONE'S DEAD.
YOU REALLY SHOULD GET BETTER ABOUT CHARGING IT.
[ SIGHS ]
BUT IT'S COOL.
THEY THINK I'M A GHOST.
I DON'T CARE IF THEY THINK YOU'RE SANTA.
DON'T WORRY.
IF THEY GET TO YOU, WE GO WITH PLAN "B."
PLAN "B"?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, PLAN "B"?
[ Ringing ]
ALEXIS: Hey, this is Alexis.
I'm busy right now,
but leave me a message, and I'll call you back.
STILL JUST VOICEMAIL?
[ SIGHS ] SOMETHING'S WRONG.
I WANT... I NEED TO HEAR THEIR VOICES.
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY'RE PROBABLY IN BED.
THAT'S WHY NO ONE'S ANSWERING. IT'S LATE.
MAYBE, BUT WOULDN'T THEY HAVE SAID SOMETHING?
I-I-I NEED TO HEAR THEY'RE OKAY FROM THEIR OWN MOUTHS.
I KNOW. I KNOW. ME TOO, BUT...
ATTENTION, EVERYONE. ATTENTION!
ALL GOOD NEWS THIS TIME.
OH.
THEY SHOULD HAVE THE ROADS CLEARED
IN THREE DAYS, FOUR, TOPS.
WHAT? THIS PARTY EMERGENCY
WILL PASS.
MR. CARSON. MR. CARSON.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS,
JUST ASK MY MANSERVANT OVER THERE.
OH, NO.
NO, I DON'T... I... NO, SORRY.
I DON'T WORK HERE.
NOT... NO. DON'T.
SIR. SIR. THREE DAYS IS UNACCEPTABLE.
PEOPLE HAVE TO GET HOME. I HAVE TO GET HOME NOW.
I HAVE TWO AMAZING KIDS, AND THEY'RE HOME ALONE,
AND I CAN'T REACH THEM, AND I HAVE TO GO HOME TO THEM NOW.
YES, WELL... SO I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A SNOWMOBILE
OR A HELICOPTER OR... OR FIRE UP THE SNOW PLOW.
I'LL DRIVE IT MYSELF.
I... THIS IS NO LONGER A PARTY EMERGENCY.
IT'S A MOMMY EMERGENCY.
I WANT TO GO HOME TO MY KIDS.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
I'M SORRY, SIR,
BUT THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY JOB,
AND IF YOU WANT TO FIRE ME, THEN GO AHEAD.
HUH.
WELL, YOU'RE QUITE THE PIT BULL, AREN'T YOU?
WELL, IT SO HAPPENS I HAVE SOME GOOD CHUMS
IN THE FOREST SERVICE WHO OWE ME A FAVOR.
THANK YOU. YES. OKAY.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
Jessica: HELP ME!
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
SINCLAIR!
HUGHES! HELP!
HURRY UP!
PLEASE!
HURRY UP! PULL!
YOU LOOK YOU LOOK TERRIBLE. TERRIBLE.
HELP ME!
GET ME OUT OF HERE!
YOU GRAB ONE LEG. I'LL GRAB THE OTHER.
ALL RIGHT. ON THREE.
ONE... WAIT!
TWO, THREE!
OW!
[ BOTH GRUNTING ] YOU'RE KILLING ME! STOP!
OW! OHH!
[ COUGHS ]
STOP SQUIRMING! STOP SMACKING ME!
OH! OHH!
OH! OH, OH!
STOP KICKING!
HOW DARE YOU?! GOD!
[ COUGHS ]
OH! [ BOTH GRUNT ]
BE CAREFUL. GO FAST, BUT BE CAREFUL.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
WHAT IN THE WORLD?
HELLO?
MRS. BAXTER, I'M CALLING ABOUT YOUR SON.
WHO IS THIS?
YOU DON'T KNOW ME, BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW
THAT YOUR SON IS OKAY.
HOW DO YOU KNOW MY SON?
It's complicated, actually.
WE MET ONLINE, AND, UH...
WHAT?! OKAY. SO, THAT CAME OUT WRONG.
WHA... WHO IS THIS, AND HOW DID YOU GET THIS NUMBER?
I HACKED FINN'S GAMER TAG,
and I got your info from the credit-card statement.
I'M WORRIED SOMETHING BAD IS GONNA HAPPEN TO HIM.
WH... ARE YOU THREATENING MY SON?!
WHAT?! WHAT? NO!
LOOK. [ CLEARS THROAT ] HI.
MY NAME IS SIMON HASSLER,
AND YOUR DAUGHTER IS LOCKED IN THE BASEMENT.
YOU KIDNAPPED MY KIDS?! WHAT?!
NO. I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY, BUT...
I'M PHONING THE POLICE, YOU SICK MONSTER!
JUST LET ME EXPLAIN FOR A SECOND.
I WILL RUIN YOU!!
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
THAT DID NOT GO AS PLANNED.
[ GROANS ]
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING HERE?
IT'S THE GHOST.
WE'VE ANGERED THE DEAD.
SHUT UP.
WE HAVE TO FIND A WAY INTO THIS HOU...
THERE'S A WINDOW OPEN UP... WHAT...
OHH. I'M GOING UP.
HELP HER.
OH, MY GOD! WAIT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
NO, NO, DON'T PULL.
PUSH!
YOU WANT TO GO INSIDE THE HOUSE!
YOU IDIOT.
[ GRUNTS ]
UNH!
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
WHOA! AAH!
[ BOTH GROAN ]
GET OFF OF ME.
OH, MY BACK.
THANKS A LOT.
[ SNICKERS ]
WHAT?
[ GASPS ]
OH, MY GOD. WHAT...
[ GASPS ]
RUDOLPH.
[ GRUNTING ]
DO YOU FEEL IT?
IT'S... IT'S LIKE SOMEONE'S WATCHING US.
[ MUTTERING ]
AAAAAAH!
[ BOTH WHIMPER ]
AAAAAAAH!
LET'S GET ON WITH IT.
THAT WAY.
AAAAAAH!
[ THUD ]
[ GROANS ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
COOKIES.
DON'T... D-D-DON'T EAT IT!
WHAT?
WHEN I GET SCARED, I NEED SWEETS.
I'M AN EMOTIONAL EATER.
NO, NO, NO! SINCLAIR SAID DON'T DO IT.
[ SIGHS ]
OHH!
UGH!
WHAT?
[ GAGS ]
UGH!
UGH.
[ SPITS, COUGHS ]
[ GARBAGE DISPOSAL WHIRS ]
[ GASPS ]
[ LAUGHS ]
[ Laughing ] YOU LOOK LIKE SANTA CLAUS.
[ GRUNTS ]
DAMN.
AAH.
WHOA.
[ CHUCKLES ] VERY GOOD. VERY FUNNY. YEAH.
WHO WAS THAT?
ALL RIGHT. COME ON.
[ LAUGHS ]
I DON'T BELIEVE IN GHOSTS, OKAY?
[ LOUD MUSIC PLAYS ]
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
OH, YES. YEAH, NICE TRICK.
YEAH. LISTEN.
I KNOW YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE ME BELIEVE IN GHOSTS,
BUT YOU'RE GONNA FAIL.
BECAUSE I DO NOT BELIEVE!
[ MUSIC RESUMES ]
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
Eerie male voice: WHO DARES ENTER MY DOMAIN
AND NOT BELIEVE?
YOU WILL BELIEVE, FOR...
I AM REAL!
[ MUSIC RESUMES ] WHA...
AAH!
AAH! WHAT?
AAH! AAH!
I AM THE GHOST OF DEAD LEG!
AAH!
AND YOU WILL BELIEVE IN ME!
AAH! AAH! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!
AAAAH!
YOU'RE NOT A GHOST!
YOU'RE JUST A HORRIBLE LITTLE BOY.
NO. NO. NO.
NO. NO. NO. NO.
NO!
NO!!
[ THUDDING ]
[ SIRENS WAILING ]
[ HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING ]
Man: MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
GET IN, GET IN!
[ GUNFIRE, EXPLOSIONS ]
MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!
ON YOUR FEET! ON YOUR FEET!
WHAT... WHAT...
WHERE ARE THE KIDS?
WHERE ARE THE KIDS?!
YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG.
I JUST PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
GUN!
[ SHRIEKS ]
[ SINCLAIR GRUNTING ] Jessica: TAKE IT EASY. TAKE IT EASY.
I TOLD YOU IT WAS NO GHOST.
IT'S THAT HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE...
THERE HE IS.
MY GOODNESS. GET HIM!
COME HERE, KID.
[ GRUNTS ] GOTCHA!
GOT HIM! YOU GOT HIM?
YES! OKAY.
COME HERE.
GET HIM IN THERE.
Finn: [ Strained ] LET GO OF ME!
GO ON.
Hughes: GET IN THERE.
YOU STAY HERE AND WATCH HIM.
MY PLEASURE.
HUGHES AND I WILL GET THE PAINTING.
COME ON. LET'S GO.
GO ON. [ CAR ALARM CHIRPS ]
WHA... HEY!
GAME OVER, KID.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WE'D GET SNOWED IN.
IN THE MOUNTAINS IN MAINE.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT'S OKAY. WE'RE ALMOST HOME.
IT'S GONNA BE OKAY. THEY'RE SMART KIDS. THEY'RE SMART KIDS.
[ GRUNTS ]
[ GROANS ]
FINN?
FINN, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
IT'S TIME FOR YOUR PLAN "B."
THEY'RE ALMOST HERE.
PLAN "B"!
FINN?
FINN!
[ KNOCKING ON WINDOW ]
[ SIGHS ] WOULD YOU SIMMER DOWN?
MY SISTER'S STILL INSIDE, YOU KNOW.
AND SHE CAN BE REALLY MEAN.
REALLY?
WELL, WE'LL TAKE THAT RISK.
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
SIT DOWN AND PUT YOUR SEATBELT ON.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
[ GASPS ]
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!
STEVE?
HELLO!
YES. YES, I WAS HOPING YOU WOULD CALL.
[ LAUGHS ]
I-I'M WILLING TO TRY IF YOU ARE.
YOU KNOW, I-I-I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT...
OH!
GET LOST!
YOU LITTLE MONSTER.
WAIT... STEVE, NO.
BEAT IT!
WAIT, STEVE, NO, NO, NO.
NOT YOU. NOT YOU. NO, NO.
YOU LITTLE MONSTER, GET OUT OF HERE!
NO, NO, NO, NOT... NOT YOU. NOT YOU, STEVE.
NO, NO, NO. I-I-I DIDN'T MEAN IT.
WAIT, COULD YOU... LET ME EXPLAIN.
WAIT, HOLD ON A SECOND. WAIT, WAIT.
ONE SECOND.
STEVE. OH! NO, NO, NO.
I-I...
NO. LOOK, LET ME EXPLAIN.
HEY... OH, GOD!
WAIT, STEVE, HOLD ON.
HEY! OH, MY GOD!
HEY!
YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! STOP IT!
[ SHOUTS ] STOP IT!
YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THIS, YOU LITTLE...
STOP IT!
OH! OH! HOW DARE YOU?!
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
YES!
STEVE: Hello?
Jess?
Hello?
Oh, forget it. I don't need this.
WHEN YOU, UH, CRACKED THE SAFE BEFORE,
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU TO, UH,
WRITE THE COMBINATION DOWN?
Shh! I'VE ALMOST GOT IT.
NEVER HAD TO CRACK THE SAME SAFE TWICE,
BUT I'LL WRITE IT DOWN THIS TIME
IN CASE WE WANT TO COME BACK AND CRACK IT AGAIN TOMORROW.
YOU KNOW, I REALLY CAN'T WORK OUT
WHETHER YOU'RE BEING SARCASTIC OR IF YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY DIM.
Simon: YOU SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?
THIS CRIME IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.
THIS IS LIVE FOOTAGE OF THE ACTUAL CRIMINALS.
IN MAINE.
I MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU DUDES HOW TO DO YOUR JOB,
BUT YOU MISSED THE CRIME SCENE BY LIKE 3,000 MILES.
THIS IS IT!
OH, NO. THEY CRACKED THE SAFE!
[ LAUGHS ]
OH, I AM SO GETTING PAID.
ONE MORE STEP, AND I'LL SMASH IT TO PIECES.
WHAT? ANOTHER CHILD?
ARE THEY COMING OUT OF THE WALLS IN THIS PLACE OR WHAT?
CHILDREN COMING OUT OF THE WALLS?
NOT LITERALLY. WATCH THE DOOR.
NOW, YOUNG LADY,
YOU ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU'RE COURTING?
I KNOW THIS PAINTING MUST BE WORTH A LOT
FOR YOU TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS.
A PAINTING RIPPED IN HALF CAN BE REPAIRED.
THE SAME CANNOT BE SAID FOR LITTLE GIRLS.
Curtis: GOTTA GO FAST, GOTTA GO FAST.
Catherine: CAREFUL, HONEY.
OKAY, SLOWING DOWN, SLOWING DOWN.
Finn: IS IT IN THERE?
YEAH. YES.
[ CAR ALARM CHIRPS ]
DUDE, THAT WAS AMAZING!
I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!
LOOK AT HER!
SNOW IS AWESOME.
THANKS.
NOW, YOU WATCH HER.
I'M GOING BACK FOR MY SISTER.
YES, SIR!
FINN, ARE YOU THERE? IT'S PLAN "B" TIME.
[ Mockingly ] FINN, ARE YOU THERE?
PLAN "B."
[ Normal voice ] WHY, YOU... HE'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU.
NOW, JUST GIVE ME THE PAINTING, AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT.
AH, SHE'S EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I IMAGINED.
REALLY? I THINK IT KIND OF SUCKS.
THAT PAINTING IS RIGHTFULLY MINE.
IT IS MY FAMILY'S BRUSH WITH GREATNESS IMMORTALIZED.
IT'LL BE A PERFECT REMINDER, SITTING ON MY MANTELPIECE.
FOREVER.
WAIT, IF YOU'RE KEEPING THE PAINTING,
HOW ARE WE ALL GETTING PAID?
WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER.
DON'T MAKE ME PUT ON MY RONALD REAGAN MASK.
[ ALL GRUNTING ]
I'M COMING, SIS!
FINN! IT'S PLAN "B" TIME!
[ GRUNTS ]
GIVE IT TO ME. DON'T BE STUPID. HEY!
GET OUT OF THERE!
WHOA! WHAT...
HEY! HEY!
HEY! HEY! COME HERE!
HEY! HEY! [ SIGHS ]
[ ALL CHEERING ]
SHE DID IT! SHE DID IT!
SHE'S SAFE! YEAH!
[ HUGHES GRUNTING ]
WELL, GO ON. OPEN THE DOOR, YOU IDIOT.
I BREAK INTO SAFES, NOT OUT OF THEM.
YEAH, WELL, MAYBE YOU CAN WORK ON THAT... IN PRISON.
GIGI.
WHOA!
YOU DID IT, LITTLE BRO.
IT WORKED?
TOTALLY WORKED.
IT SO TOTALLY WORKED.
HEY. HEY, KID.
WHAT'S GOING ON? WAIT...
KID, CAN YOU HELP ME? I CAN'T MOVE.
[ SIRENS WAILING ]
WHAT DID YOU DO?
[ SIRENS STOPS ]
Officer: OKAY, MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
WHEN YOU'RE IN POSITION, REPORT.
UNH! UNH! UNH!
GUYS, COME ON. NOT AGAIN.
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]
Finn: MOM! GUYS!
OH, KIDS! ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH, WE'RE FINE.
ARE YOU BLEEDING? ARE YOU HURT?
WE'RE FINE. I PROMISE. WE WERE SO WORRIED.
I AM SO GLAD TO SEE YOU GUYS.
OH! OH!
IS EVERYBODY OKAY HERE?
YEAH, BUT THERE ARE TWO BAD GUYS TRAPPED IN THE BASEMENT.
WHAT? BUT DON'T WORRY.
IT'S NOT TOO SCARY DOWN THERE.
[ STAMMERS ] BAD GUYS?!
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ] Jessica: KID, COME ON, GET ME OUT OF HERE.
PLEASE!
HELP!
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]
WERE YOU JUST GONNA SKIP OUT ON JESSICA, TOO?
THAT'S COLD, MAN.
I KNEW I SHOULD'VE STUCK TO MY OLD CREW.
I HAD MY GIGI.
I HAD HER IN MY HANDS.
YEAH, WELL, SHE'S GONE,
SO GET OVER IT.
FINN, I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.
YOU WARNED US YOU HEARD SOMETHING,
AND WE SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED YOU.
I SHOULD HAVE BELIEVED YOU.
[ CHUCKLES ] IT'S OKAY.
IT WASN'T ANYTHING I COULDN'T HANDLE.
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME YOU WEREN'T AFRAID?
WELL, I WAS AT FIRST.
BUT AN ACTIVE IMAGINATION IS ACTUALLY PRETTY USEFUL
WHEN YOU'RE NOT USING IT TO SCARE YOURSELF.
MM.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, ALEXIS?
YEAH, I WAS SCARED.
BUT, HEY, AT LEAST THIS PLACE ISN'T BORING.
GUYS...
YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS.
THAT PAINTING IN THE BASEMENT
HAS BEEN IDENTIFIED AS A LOST MASTERPIECE
BY EDVARD MUNCH.
WAIT, WHO?
MUNCH!
THE... THE SCANDINAVIAN GUY.
HE PAINTED "THE SCREAM."
THE... THE... THE WHAT?
"THE SCREAM"! YOU KNOW, THIS.
UGH, DAD! [ SHRIEKS ]
UGH, YOU GUYS, STOP. MOM, YOU DON'T NEED TO...
ANYWAY, IT WAS... IT WAS STOLEN FROM A MUSEUM.
WOW.
IN 1918. THEY THOUGHT IT WAS LOST FOREVER.
IT IS VALUED AT $85 MILLION.
WHOA! W-W-WAIT.
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD!
IS THERE A REWARD? THERE'S A REWARD, RIGHT?
WELL, FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK,
BECAUSE, AS A FINDER'S FEE,
THEY GENEROUSLY GAVE US THIS.
OH! [ LAUGHS ]
[ Laughing ] OH.
FOUR FREE MEMBER PASSES TO THE MUSEUM.
GOOD FOR ONE YEAR. MM-HMM.
OH, UH, NOT VALID HOLIDAYS AND SUNDAYS.
THAT... THAT... THAT'S VERY NICE.
WHAT? THAT'S NO REWARD!
WE SAVE THEIR FAMOUS PAINTING, AND THAT'S HOW THEY REPAY US?
BY MAKING US GO TO A MUSEUM? LAME.
THIS SEASON ISN'T ABOUT MATERIAL THINGS.
IT'S ABOUT FAMILY, AND WE'RE ALL SAFE.
AND THAT IS REWARD ENOUGH.
YES, INDEED.
OH, ONE MORE THING.
UH, THE THIEVES WERE WANTED IN SEVERAL STATES,
SO WE GOT THAT REWARD, TOO.
$30,000.
WHOA! HOLY...
[ ALL LAUGHING, CHEERING ]
$30,000!
WOW! SHOPPING SPREE FOR EVERYONE.
Finn: VIDEO GAMES!
YES!
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR HELPING MY SON, SIMON.
SIMON: I just gave him a little encouragement.
He did it all on his own.
And sorry about the whole kidnapping scare.
I heard the, uh, arresting officers, uh,
pepper-sprayed you.
A lot.
AH, THEY WERE JUST DOING THEIR JOB.
Well, uh, we want to make it up to you.
FINN TELLS ME THAT, UH,
YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO VISIT YOUR FAMILY THIS YEAR.
Oh.
W-Well, yeah. Um...
WELL, WE WANT TO BUY YOU A PLANE TICKET HOME.
SO YOU CAN HAVE CHRISTMAS WITH YOUR FAMILY.
REALLY?
THAT'S... THAT'S UNBELIEVABLE.
Oh, Merry Christmas. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Want to play?
YEAH. LET'S DO IT.
ALL RIGHT. Bye.
SO, I HAVE THIS NEW GUN.
Oh, cool. YOU HAVE TO CHECK IT OUT.
WHAT DID YOU GET, BUDDY?
"ROBO INFANTRY 3" EXPANSION PACK?!
Curtis: OH.
[ LAUGHS ]
MORE LEVELS. MORE BOSSES. MORE ONLINE PLAY!
[ PAPER TEARS ]
[ GASPS ] OH, MY GOSH. IS IT... IT IS!
UH-HUH.
IT'S A TABLET COMPUTER WITH A PINK CASE! YES!
OH, MY GOSH. "HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO CATHERINE,
"MY NEW PIT BULL.
I'M GLAD YOU'RE WORKING FOR ME."
AND THEY SHOULD BE.
OH, HON, PERFECT.
MM-HMM.
BUDDY...
CAMPING AND FISHING... YOU AND ME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
COOL.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA PLAY WITH FIRST?
HMM.
HEY, MASON.
WHEN WE GET BACK,
CAN YOU SHOW ME YOUR SECRET HIDEOUT? DEFINITELY.
CAN YOU SHOW ME HOW TO BUILD YOUR SNOWBALL LAUNCHER?
DEFINITELY.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS SNOW!
SNOW'S PRETTY AWESOME, HUH?
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!
OH, NO.
YOU CALL THAT A HIT?
STAND AGAINST THE WALL. LOOK AT THE CAMERA.
DON'T SMILE.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
NEXT.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
NEXT.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
[ BEEPING ]
[ INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF "JINGLE BELLS" PLAYS ]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
[ GRUNTS ]
AAH! WHOA!
WHOA!
AH-AH-AH-AH!
AAAAAAAAAH!
OUCH.
GUN!
[ SHRIEKS ] OW! OW!
I CAN DO THIS!
OW! [ SHOUTS ]
WHAT'S GOING ON? WAIT...
KID, CAN YOU HELP ME? I CAN'T MOVE.