Here's what's going on.
I have messed up big-time.
I got us evicted, I'm broke,
my father's not talking to me, my daughter's not talking to me.
I'm talking to you.
Yay...
I just need to put a roof over my family's head again,
get my daughter to come back home.
I just don't know where to start.
I'm so overwhelmed.
Anyway, thanks.
(CLEARS THROAT) Uh...
- Hi, I'm Bonnie. I'm an alcoholic. - Hi, Bonnie.
I don't want to pile on
but you all just heard what I'm living with.
You're not helping.
Hey, I didn't interrupt when you shared.
- Anyway... - Yes, you did.
I'm a glass half-full kind of gal
so I'm not gonna look at my daughter's failure
as my failure. That's it. Thanks.
Can I go again?
Good meeting.
I can't wait to put you in a home.
- Hi. Beth. - Hi.
Really enjoyed your share.
- Thanks. - Thanks.
I might be able to help you. I'm a Real Estate Agent.
Oh. I know you from the bus benches.
Oh, yeah, I've sat on your face.
A lot of people have.
Anyway, I have a rental property that's a little ways out of town
but I think it would be perfect for you and your family.
Is it free?
No, but the owners are very motivated.
That's code for "Somethings wrong with it."
What, is it built on a toxic waste dump or something?
Of course not.
And if you have a little bit of time,
I could drive you out there right now.
You could see for yourself.
- Okay. - (CHUCKLES) Okay.
We would've been okay with toxic waste, right?
Absolutely.
We're done having kids. What do we care?
So that's three bedrooms upstairs.
Plus, the office down here could easily be a fourth.
- Wow. - Yeah.
Subzero appliances in the kitchen, two-car garage
and your nearest neighbor is a mile away
so you'll have oodles of privacy.
Where was this place when I was cooking meth?
Beth, the house is fantastic
but it has got to be way out of our price range.
Even at $900 a month?
What, did somebody die here?
A few people.
Let me show you the patio.
Built-in barbecue, perfect for entertaining.
Yeah, great. Back it up a bit.
Now, when you say a few people died,
what are we talking, old age?
Triple homicide. Pretty messy.
But when they pulled up the bloody carpet,
look what they found? Hardwood floors.
That's the real crime, hiding floors like these.
- Oh, my God. - Can you give us a sec?
This is an incredible break.
We've got to take it. We've got to take it right now.
Are you crazy? People were murdered here.
And we cannot bring them back.
But...
we can honor their memory every time we fire up that Jacuzzi.
No. Absolutely not. It's too creepy.
What was it, like, a drug deal gone bad?
Were they criminals, had it coming?
No, a Sunday school teacher, his wife, their teenage son
and the family dog.
- The dog? - Not the dog.
Yes, terrible tragedy.
So what do you think?
I really need an answer right now
because I have other families who are interested.
No, you don't.
Come here. Come here.
Do you want Violet to move back in with us?
- Of course. - This'll do it.
A beautiful place we can call our own.
Yeah, but--
It's not like there's gonna be another murder here.
She's right. Statistically speaking,
this is safer than a non-murder house.
Beth, a good mother would never put her children
in this kind of environment.
- So, that's a no? - You didn't let me finish.
♪ (THEME MUSIC) ♪
Forget the TV commercials.
When you love your cats,
you don't feed 'em out of a can or a box.
Everything I eat it's out of a can or a box.
Well, not while you're living with your aunt Marjorie. Hit it.
Whoa, this is awesome.
Hey, we're back.
Roscoe, I brought you some chicken nuggets.
- See? Box. - Yeah.
I'll make you a bowl of spaghetti later.
Thanks.
How was the meeting?
(SIGHS) Terrific. And good news, we found a place to live.
- Oh. Really? - Not just a place.
A four-bedroom furnished house out in Browns Valley.
Oh, wow.
How can you afford that?
We got an incredible deal because...
(WHISPERING) a family was murdered there.
- And their dog. - Oh!
But the best part is,
we will be out of your hair by the end of the week.
Okay. Well, you're not really in my hair.
But you said we were a huge pain in the ass.
I said that about you.
But you and Roscoe are always welcome here.
Thanks, Marjorie. You're the best.
But I've got to put my family back together.
I understand.
- I'll miss you. - I'll miss you, too.
I'm a little sad about all this. So if you'll excuse me.
- What a great lady. - Yeah, I don't buy it.
There's something wrong with her.
Somethings wrong with you.
Did you ever consider
that there might be people in this world
who are simply kind and compassionate?
I used to think that. And then I turned nine.
Great. You win. You're dead inside.
And don't you forget it.
Now call Violet and tell her we got a home.
- Where you going? - I, uh, have some errands to run.
If you're going to the drugstore,
we're out of toothpaste, toilet paper...
Oh, my God. Clearly I'm lying.
Yeah, he's showing up for work regular.
How the hell would I know if he's using?
Listen, my friend, I just run a body shop.
You're his Parole Officer.
Get off your fat ass,
come down here and make him pee in a cup.
(KNOCKING)
Hello.
Okay, I got to go, Susan. Sorry I called you fat.
This is a surprise.
I just thought I'd stop by and see how you're feeling.
Doctor says the ticker's all good. All systems go.
Oh...
- Nice. - Mm-hm.
So, what's going on?
I just thought we needed to discuss a few things.
I didn't wanna do it on the phone.
Okay.
- It's about our daughter. - Okay.
I assume she told you what went down.
She did. And I just thought
you might've been a little rough on her.
You're kidding, right?
Who skips out in the middle of the night to beat the rent?
Do I have to remind you about that cute little bungalow
we had up near Eureka, in 1976?
We took a bunch of acid, made love on the kitchen floor
and ran off like a couple of thieves.
That was not me.
- Really? - No.
(LAUGHING)
Oh...
The point is...
...Christy knows she made a mistake and she'll never do it again.
Yeah. Terrific.
So in the meantime, she and the kids are living like Gypsies?
Actually, she found a really nice house out in the country
and it wouldn't be a bad idea if you were to visit and make peace.
I don't know. Let me think about it.
Well, don't think too long,
if you ever wanna have your own kitchen floor memories.
Really? You're trading sex for forgiveness?
Would you rather pay cash?
Hi, Violet, it's mom. How's it going at your new place?
- Sweet. I love it here. - ♪ (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
What's all that noise?
I'm just watching TV.
Okay, well, listen, I wanted you to know
that I found a beautiful house out in the country.
Fully furnished, Jacuzzi.
- Really? - Yep.
If you wanted to come back,
you'd have your own bedroom and bathroom.
No reason you couldn't invite your friends
to come visit you there, throw some parties.
Sound good?
Violet? Hello?
Thank you, God. Thank you, God.
(SIREN WAILING)
This refrigerator is huge.
I mean, you could put a body in here.
(DISH CLATTERING)
- Why would you say that? - Because it's big?
Well, you couldn't fit a body in there.
You know, you'd have to chop it up.
Please stop talking.
Killer house, guys.
- You mean nice house? - Yeah.
Then you should say that.
Remind me to play poker with you.
Hey, can you keep an eye on Roscoe while we go into town for groceries?
Absolutely.
I give you my word I will not get high.
Violet, can you keep an eye on Roscoe
while we go into town for groceries?
Yeah. I got it.
- I'm so happy to have you back. - I know.
Hey, look what I found wrapped around the doghouse.
Hm...
Why would there be police tape wrapped around a doghouse?
Maybe he was a crime-fighting dog like Scooby-Doo.
Oh, sure, that explains it.
Christy. Check it out. Pickles in a barrel.
Cool. Should we get some?
No. I just dropped my gum in it.
- Howdy. - Howdy.
Howdy.
Look at us saying "Howdy."
Haven't seen you gals around here before.
Yeah. We're just moving into the neighborhood.
- "Gals." I love it. - It's so much better than "Bitches."
- Where you living? - Just up the road a piece.
- "A piece"? - When in Rome.
We're, uh, renting the white clapboard house
at the end of Magnolia.
- The Williams place? - I guess.
- You do know what happened there? - We know.
We also know we got hardwood floors and a Jacuzzi.
Anyway, it was a long time ago
and we're just really grateful to live in such a beautiful home.
Actually, it was only nine months ago,
and they never caught the man who did it.
What's that you say?
Well, the papers called him "The Fisherman"
on account of him gutting everybody.
- "Gutting"? - And filleting.
"Filleting"?
He did everything but bread them and dip them in tartar sauce.
That's enough jibber-jabber. Let me ring you up.
- "Jibber-jabber." - It's not cute anymore.
(INHALING)
Sacrifices I make for my kid.
- Hello? - (RUSTLING)
Roscoe? Violet?
Weird.
- (INHALING) - (RUSTLING)
Hello?
Curious.
Hello? Anybody out here?
Oh, God! Oh, God, get off me!
Baxter? Are you okay?
No! I just walked through a spider web!
Hey.
Everything alright?
Great.
- Here, let me take that from you. - Thanks.
Hey, were you guys just walking around outside in the backyard?
No. Why?
Nothing. Just thought I heard somebody out there.
It's starting.
Stop it. How high are you?
No more than usual.
Just because he's stoned doesn't mean he was imagining it.
It usually does.
Did you see anyone?
Hang on. Don't want to blow up a fart from the inside.
Oh!
Just heard someone.
That's it. I don't wanna stay here tonight.
- Would you relax? - But what if it was the Fisherman?
- Who's the Fisherman? - He's the madman
who murdered all the people who lived in this house.
- All of them? - And their dog.
Aw!
Violet and Roscoe cannot know about this.
I wish I didn't know about this.
(THUNDER CRASHES)
Hey, would you think less of me if I left right now?
- Yes. - How much less?
Alright, I want you both to listen to me.
There is no one out there.
There is nothing to be afraid of except what's in our own heads.
I guess you're right.
And I guarantee you it'll go along way
toward showing your father you're not a total screw-up.
You're right.
If I run away from this place, I'm running away from happiness.
That's my girl.
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Would you mind getting that?
I do mind. Baxter, you're the man.
Disagree.
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Come on, we'll all get it.
If that's the Fisherman out there, I just want you to know...
you were a terrible mother.
Hello? Who's there?
- Hey! - (ALL SCREAM)
Whoa! You trying to give me another heart attack?
Oh! Daddy. I'm so glad it's you.
Oh, I'm sorry I scared you.
I was outside knocking and knocking and then I just came in the back.
- What's going on? - Nothing. It's just Grandpa.
So, how'd you even know we were here?
Your mom told me. Said I should come by
and straighten things out with you.
Oh...
I'm sorry about that terrible mom crack.
It's okay. I don't listen to you.
Anyway, I'm sorry I was so hard on you.
- I love you. - I love you, too.
Just promise me
you won't run out of your house in the middle of the night
because things aren't going your way.
I promise.
(BANGING)
Run!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Funny story.
I can't believe you guys rented a house
where people were murdered.
Well, you have no credit rating.
Are you, uh, gonna go back to your friend's place tomorrow?
No, I think I'll stick around for a while.
Really?
- You need me, Mom. - I do.
I say we get a couple of guns and go back.
Are you serious?
The guy had a fishhook. Who wins that showdown?
Okay, I just tucked in Alvin, Roscoe and Baxter in the guest room.
Thanks, Marjorie.
Everybody snuggled and cozy out here?
Yeah. We're great.
Okay, see you all in the morning.
- Night, Marjorie. - Night.
You know, I'm sorry things didn't work out at your new house
but I got to admit, I'm happy you're back.
- I missed you. - We missed you, too.
And, Bonnie, I know we give each other a hard time
but my life is better with you in it.
Thanks, Marjorie. Same here.
- Night. - Night.
I take back everything I ever said about that woman.
She's an angel.
I don't know what we would do without her.
(THUNDER CRASHES)
♪ (THEME MUSIC) ♪